Tuesday, December 4, 2007
RED MEAT POLITICAL COMMENTARY
What earthly purpose can it serve for the Idaho Statesman newspaper to continue to set forth in lacivious detail the minutiae of Senator Larry Craig's alleged homosexual trysts when the Senator has honorably retracted his pledge to resign and said he will leave at the end of his elected term?
Coach Charlie Weis and the 2007 Notre Dame Football Team - Well Done
The 2007 Notre Dame Fightin' Irish football team, under the steady leadership of Coach Charlie Weis, finished the season rocking and rolling on a two game winning streak, laying the groundwork for an almost certain national championship in 2008. Among other achievements this season, the Irish managed to go 2-1 against the PAC-10, laying the wood to UCLA and Standford, while getting nosed out by the slimmest of margins against USC. Hell, if the Irish played in the PAC-10, we would all be gettin' ready for a New Year's Day trip to the Pasadena Rose Bowl!!!!
A Commentary: The Writers' Strike
With the continuing writers' strike, it has become very much an open question as to whether "24" will see the light of a new season. Shooting had started and was shut down when the picketers hit the bricks. Regretfully, there has now even been loose talk that the network might show eight episodes of "24" this season and the concluding eight episodes next season.
It might just be time for the gimme, gimme, gimme writers to start thinking about other people for a change. Management is composed of reasonable people. I'm sure they would give the money if they had it. Let's get all this behind us and roll up the ol' sleeves and finish up this year's "24".
It might just be time for the gimme, gimme, gimme writers to start thinking about other people for a change. Management is composed of reasonable people. I'm sure they would give the money if they had it. Let's get all this behind us and roll up the ol' sleeves and finish up this year's "24".
An Apology To Readers
This blog has been dark for the past four months. This period of inactivity was due to a committment made to serve as a commissioner of a fantasy football league. The ISP staff of editors, writers and technical people, were entrusted with the daily postings of news stories on the private league's home page. The task was far more exhausting in terms of manhours and creative effort than had been reasonably anticipated. The economic costs have been staggering.
The good news is that using Coach Barry Switzer as our lodestar, the ISP team is poised to bring home the bacon in the fantasy football championship game this weekend. Further developments will be posted as warranted.
The good news is that using Coach Barry Switzer as our lodestar, the ISP team is poised to bring home the bacon in the fantasy football championship game this weekend. Further developments will be posted as warranted.
Tuesday, August 7, 2007
"24"
My worst fears were realized; no "24 Weekend". Instead they had three episodes of a situation "comedy" which is executive produced by Kelsey Grammar . . . I didn't even catch the name of it . . . I believe it involves the hijinks of a basketball player's wife . . . and then the situation continued to deteriorate when "CIS Miami" came on at 11:30 . . .
Thoughts on Notre Dame Football
Does anyone else think that when there is a reunion of football players at Notre Dame, the players from the Faust Era and the Davie Era naturally gravitate towards one another?
Sunday, August 5, 2007
Warning: Possible "24" Scheduling Snafu
For all those who will be checking back for my update of "24 Weekend" . . . you all know the problems that I've had with Channel 57 on the UHF . . . not reception, the old black and white has been doing a good job . . . but . . . you may have to blame Phils' pitcher, Adam Eaton and Brewers' manager, Ned Yost, for this one . . . see, the Phils are on Channel 57 on the UHF . . . and Eaton had a dickens of a time in the second . . . had to throw 43 pitches just to get out of the inning!! . . . terrible . . . but then in the ninth, Yost got antsy with his trigger finger and brought in Cordero, who was relieving for the third day in a row . . . so, of course, the Phils tied it up in the ninth and they have gone to extra innings . . . whenever the Phillies' game goes long and the schedule gets bollixed, "24 Weekend" is the first thing they throw overboard . . .
Updates to follow as warranted.
Updates to follow as warranted.
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Congratulations, Mr. Murdoch!
A tip of the cap from the ISP staff to Mr. Rupert Murdoch on his recent acquisition of The Wall Street Journal. As long-time readers of the New York Post, we can only hope that Mr. Murdoch's people whip The Wall Street Journal's sports' section into shape, and gives readers a third backpage to eagerly anticipate every morning.
Red Meat Political Commentary
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney acknowledged on Tuesday he was wrong in 2005 when he insisted the insurgency in Iraq was in its "last throes."
By my lights, any fair-minded person would appreciate that the Vice-President has made a clean breast of it, and that rather than engage in any further nit-picking over who did what, the country should move forward.
By my lights, any fair-minded person would appreciate that the Vice-President has made a clean breast of it, and that rather than engage in any further nit-picking over who did what, the country should move forward.
"The Bronx Is Burning"
Like many of you, I have been very much enjoying ESPN's mini-series, "The Bronx Is Burning". Last night's episode involved a famous locker room incident that for those of us of a certain age instantly recalls where we were when we first heard of it, much like the news of the Kennedy assassination for a previous generation.
Yankee manager, Billy Martin, and team captain, Thurman Munson, had been out on a two day bender, and came staggering into the locker room an hour before a home game against the Orioles. In their inebriated condition, they hatched a scheme to play a practical joke on the target of their ire, Reggie Jackson. Billy and Thurm each defecated in one of Reggie's Dingo boots.
Following the game, Reggie got himself an ankle deep surprise when he pulled on his Dingo boot. Infuriated, and immediately sure of the perpatrator, he made a beeline for the showers, walking in an awkward peg-leg fashion with the one Dingo boot still on. He tackled the showering Munson, and the two engaged in a legendary brawl which is now part of Yankee lore.
I thought it an interesting artistic decision by ESPN and the director of the mini-series to elect to go with full frontal male nudity. Such a decision was probably unavoidable with the actor playing Munson, given the circumstances. However, I am less certain that it was necessary with Munson's showering teammates, the actors playing Willie Randolph, Mickey Rivers, Roy White, Chris Chambliss and Big Elston Howard.
Yankee manager, Billy Martin, and team captain, Thurman Munson, had been out on a two day bender, and came staggering into the locker room an hour before a home game against the Orioles. In their inebriated condition, they hatched a scheme to play a practical joke on the target of their ire, Reggie Jackson. Billy and Thurm each defecated in one of Reggie's Dingo boots.
Following the game, Reggie got himself an ankle deep surprise when he pulled on his Dingo boot. Infuriated, and immediately sure of the perpatrator, he made a beeline for the showers, walking in an awkward peg-leg fashion with the one Dingo boot still on. He tackled the showering Munson, and the two engaged in a legendary brawl which is now part of Yankee lore.
I thought it an interesting artistic decision by ESPN and the director of the mini-series to elect to go with full frontal male nudity. Such a decision was probably unavoidable with the actor playing Munson, given the circumstances. However, I am less certain that it was necessary with Munson's showering teammates, the actors playing Willie Randolph, Mickey Rivers, Roy White, Chris Chambliss and Big Elston Howard.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Coach Paterno
In this book, Coach Paterno said that he only wants a certain type of individual to play at Penn State. Young men of resolute character. The Coach mentioned that there was a highly regarded receiver from New Jersey, who was at the time playing for the nation's best college team, but the Coach had not bothered recruiting him because there were questions about grades and the like.
The receiver in question was USC's Dwayne Jarrett, a first round pick in the recent NFL draft. When queried as to Coach Paterno's assertion, Mr. Jarrett responded that he was all but speechless, as Penn State had attempted to recruit him, but he had advised the University that he had no interest in attending.
The receiver in question was USC's Dwayne Jarrett, a first round pick in the recent NFL draft. When queried as to Coach Paterno's assertion, Mr. Jarrett responded that he was all but speechless, as Penn State had attempted to recruit him, but he had advised the University that he had no interest in attending.
"24"
See . . . Jack had gotten involved with this woman, whose father was the Secretary of Defense . . . anyway she was married and through a convoluted series of events, well . . . Jack had to end up torturing her husband because he may have had information . . . and then the husband gets shot as he's pushing Jack out of the way of a terrorist's bullet . . . and then the husband goes into some sort of cardiac arrest after surgery to get the bullet . . . at the same time, Jack is rushing back to CTU with a Chinese national with information, who he kidnapped out of the Chinese Embassy . . . and there's just the one doctor at CTU . . . and the Chinese national took a bullet in the back, so he needs a doctor . . . so when Jack gets back to CTU and the doctor is working on the woman's husband, Jack has to put his gun on the doctor and tell him in no uncertain terms that he has to work on the Chinese national . . . this causes a fit of pique in the woman with whom Jack is having a dalliance . . . he correctly advises her that he has his orders . . . the husband dies, but there was nothing Jack could do about that . . .
Whatever happened to the Sweathogs? (Part III)
Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs played the role of Freddie "Boom Boom" Washington on "Welcome Back, Kotter". Perhaps his most famous moment was singing in a reggae fashion, "I don't care what the white man say, Santa Claus was a black man."
Reading this recent interview with Mr. Hilton-Jacobs reveals that the "business" has not been kind to him in at least fifteen years, and he is struggling to even get so much as a cup of coffee in Hollywood.
http://reviews.aalbc.com/lawrence_hilton-jacobs.htm
Reading this recent interview with Mr. Hilton-Jacobs reveals that the "business" has not been kind to him in at least fifteen years, and he is struggling to even get so much as a cup of coffee in Hollywood.
http://reviews.aalbc.com/lawrence_hilton-jacobs.htm
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Red Meat Political Commentary
Can these Senate Democrats not allow for the possibility that Attorney General Alberto Gonzales may have become confused in hours of questioning and was not intentionally trying to mislead them?
Coach Charlie Weis
A jury recently found against Notre Dame Coach Charlie Weis in his malpractice suit against the two physicians who performed his gastric bypass surgery.
The first trial was declared a mistrial, when the two doctors leaped into action in the court room and saved the life of one of the jurors in medical distress. I guess the judge figured Coach Weis couldn't get a fair shake after jurors had seen that.
It might be time for Coach Weis to start looking at that man in the mirror and take some personal responsibility for his physical appearance and well-being.
I had the misfortune to witness his ill-prepared team's debacle against USC this past season. Almost as embarrassing as the resultant performance was Coach Weis' selection of pre-game apparrel. Does anyone remember the late '70's, finally being roused to conciousness in your college dorm room on a Sunday morning, believing that you had finally, truly done yourself in, managing to somehow get up and throw on a pair of those formless gray sweatpants and a baseball cap and staggering over to the cafeteria to get a bit of food in ya, before returning to your dorm room and fitfully power napping until Monday morning?
Coach Weis was wearing that type of shapeless gray sweat pants on the field at the Coliseum in ful view of everybody who is anybody in LA. The sweatpants did not flatter his physique. Absolutely mortifying to all Notre Dame fans, particularly when one remembers what a crisp dresser Ara Parseghian was.
The first trial was declared a mistrial, when the two doctors leaped into action in the court room and saved the life of one of the jurors in medical distress. I guess the judge figured Coach Weis couldn't get a fair shake after jurors had seen that.
It might be time for Coach Weis to start looking at that man in the mirror and take some personal responsibility for his physical appearance and well-being.
I had the misfortune to witness his ill-prepared team's debacle against USC this past season. Almost as embarrassing as the resultant performance was Coach Weis' selection of pre-game apparrel. Does anyone remember the late '70's, finally being roused to conciousness in your college dorm room on a Sunday morning, believing that you had finally, truly done yourself in, managing to somehow get up and throw on a pair of those formless gray sweatpants and a baseball cap and staggering over to the cafeteria to get a bit of food in ya, before returning to your dorm room and fitfully power napping until Monday morning?
Coach Weis was wearing that type of shapeless gray sweat pants on the field at the Coliseum in ful view of everybody who is anybody in LA. The sweatpants did not flatter his physique. Absolutely mortifying to all Notre Dame fans, particularly when one remembers what a crisp dresser Ara Parseghian was.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Whatever happened to the Sweathogs? (Part II)
The resume of Ron Pallilo, who played Arnold Horshack on "Welcome Back, Kotter", would seem to indicate that he hasn't had so much as a cup of coffee in Hollywood for decades.
http://www.corporateartists.com/ron_palillo.html
http://www.corporateartists.com/ron_palillo.html
Coach Joe Paterno
The book I'm reading about Coach Paterno notes that the 1979 Sugar Bowl loss to Alabama really ate at the Coach. That's the one where Joe called a running play on fourth and inches at the Alabama goal line and the Nittanys were stopped cold. As way of background, if the receiver, Fitzkee, had any guts, he would have scored on first down. Then Coach Paterno still believes they got in on a second down running play.
Anyway, this book points out that Coach Paterno noted in his autobiography that he wanted to call a pass play on fourth down. His assistants told him to call the running play that cost the team the national championship. Coach Paterno says that's the only time he let his assistants talk him out of a play in which he really believed. That play is probably the biggest blot on Coach Paterno's resume, and now, years later, to find out that Coach Paterno didn't want to call that play at all, it was the assistants' fault. That's really eye-opening.
Anyway, this book points out that Coach Paterno noted in his autobiography that he wanted to call a pass play on fourth down. His assistants told him to call the running play that cost the team the national championship. Coach Paterno says that's the only time he let his assistants talk him out of a play in which he really believed. That play is probably the biggest blot on Coach Paterno's resume, and now, years later, to find out that Coach Paterno didn't want to call that play at all, it was the assistants' fault. That's really eye-opening.
Monday, July 23, 2007
One Man's Opinon: Mr. Stern and the Irish Donaghy Conundrum
Reports are coming in that the NBA may have been investigating this guy twelve to eighteen months ago . . . I don't know when the feds got in on it . . . but that really left Mr. Stern in quite the dilemma . . . if he suspends the guy, it sort of blows the federal investigation . . . the g-men tend to frown on that . . . you'd think they would have had enough to do, digging up them damn dead dogs down in Virginia, but don't get me started on how our tax money is spent . . . so . . . Mr. Stern has got to sit there and watch as Irish Donaghy made any number of phantom calls against the Suns in game three against the Spurs . . . in retrospect, one can really enjoy the humor of Coach D'Antoni's anger, particularly with the benefit of the hindsight that he was probably intentionally being screwed so that Irish would cover . . .
There was once a performer in the WWF named Danny Davis . . .he was a wrestling "referee" whose actions in the ring quickly revealed he was in league with The Hart Foundation . . . quick three counts and the like . . . eventually Danny Davis donned the trunks and stepped into the squared circle . . . Mr. Stern should take this one completely over the top . . . embrace the scandal rather than run from it with mealy-mouthed excuses . . . that is, have a team sign Irish Donaghy as a player . . . and put him in the game only at very key moments for the gambling public . . . for instance, if Irish's team is leading by 8 and the spread is 7, and one second remains in the game and all Irish's team has to do is inbound the ball under its own basket and the game is over . . . so his coach puts Irish in . . . the crowd is going wild . . . the ball is inbounded to Irish and he shoots it into his own basket to make sure his team doesn't cover . . . by God, that would lead on Sportscenter . . . there's your "Who's Now" for ya . . .
There was once a performer in the WWF named Danny Davis . . .he was a wrestling "referee" whose actions in the ring quickly revealed he was in league with The Hart Foundation . . . quick three counts and the like . . . eventually Danny Davis donned the trunks and stepped into the squared circle . . . Mr. Stern should take this one completely over the top . . . embrace the scandal rather than run from it with mealy-mouthed excuses . . . that is, have a team sign Irish Donaghy as a player . . . and put him in the game only at very key moments for the gambling public . . . for instance, if Irish's team is leading by 8 and the spread is 7, and one second remains in the game and all Irish's team has to do is inbound the ball under its own basket and the game is over . . . so his coach puts Irish in . . . the crowd is going wild . . . the ball is inbounded to Irish and he shoots it into his own basket to make sure his team doesn't cover . . . by God, that would lead on Sportscenter . . . there's your "Who's Now" for ya . . .
"24"
That was close . . . those jokers at Channel 57 on the UHF decided to start 24 at 10:30 p.m. rather than 10:00 p.m. . . . tried to pump fake me with an episode of "Will and Grace" . . . but I checked back . . .
And this episode was absolutely infuriating . . . the President, this guy, Logan, was really ticked off when he found out that Jack had to get rough with some witness to get the information he needed to get the job done . . . so this Logan character orders the Secret Service to arrest Jack! And of course, Jack is right on the verge of capturing the terrorists, when the Secret Service shows up and blows everyone's cover and the terrorists take it on the lam. Jack was really steamed, handcuffed and sitting in the back of the car like a common criminal. And then . . . get this . . . the President changes his mind and orders Jack released! After the terrorists got away! I don't think I've ever been so mad in my life.
And this episode was absolutely infuriating . . . the President, this guy, Logan, was really ticked off when he found out that Jack had to get rough with some witness to get the information he needed to get the job done . . . so this Logan character orders the Secret Service to arrest Jack! And of course, Jack is right on the verge of capturing the terrorists, when the Secret Service shows up and blows everyone's cover and the terrorists take it on the lam. Jack was really steamed, handcuffed and sitting in the back of the car like a common criminal. And then . . . get this . . . the President changes his mind and orders Jack released! After the terrorists got away! I don't think I've ever been so mad in my life.
British Open Report
Long-time ISP reader, Irish Jimmy Clancy, checks in, on site, from the British Open:
I'm not afraid to admit to you that I broke down and cried like a baby . . . because it was threatening to be a bad week for our people . . . what with Irish Donaghy at the center of this whole NBA scandal . . . I don't understand that at all . . . I mean graft in politics, the Irish have always been big on that, a wink and an envelope, nobody's the wiser and nobody gets hurt . . . but this . . . and then along came Irish Paddy Harrington . . .that Garcia was threatening to give him a bad time of it . . . but when Paddy won the playoff and was waving the Irish flag around . . . himself doing a victory jig, right there on the green . . . very emotional.
I'm not afraid to admit to you that I broke down and cried like a baby . . . because it was threatening to be a bad week for our people . . . what with Irish Donaghy at the center of this whole NBA scandal . . . I don't understand that at all . . . I mean graft in politics, the Irish have always been big on that, a wink and an envelope, nobody's the wiser and nobody gets hurt . . . but this . . . and then along came Irish Paddy Harrington . . .that Garcia was threatening to give him a bad time of it . . . but when Paddy won the playoff and was waving the Irish flag around . . . himself doing a victory jig, right there on the green . . . very emotional.
Whatever happened to the Sweathogs?
With the imminent release of the first season of "Welcome Back, Kotter" on DVD, I cannot recount for you the number of inquiries that we have received regarding, "Hey. Whatever happened to the actors besides Travolta who played the Sweathogs?"
As the first in a series, we provide a link to Mr. Robert Hegyes, who played Juan Epstein. Mr. Hegyes is a prideful man, but his website would seem to reveal that he hasn't had so much as a cup of coffee in Hollywood for many years.
http://www.roberthegyes.com/
As the first in a series, we provide a link to Mr. Robert Hegyes, who played Juan Epstein. Mr. Hegyes is a prideful man, but his website would seem to reveal that he hasn't had so much as a cup of coffee in Hollywood for many years.
http://www.roberthegyes.com/
Saturday, July 21, 2007
News Update: Temporary Transfer of Presidential Power
Saturday, July 21, 2007
CAMP DAVID, Md. … President Bush transferred the powers of his office to Vice President Dick Cheney for more than two hours Saturday while under sedation for a colon cancer screening.
Doctors removed five small polyps during the procedure at Camp David.
"None appeared worrisome," White House spokesman Scott Stanzel said. Polyps are precancerous growths in the colon.All the polyps were less than a centimeter and were sent for microscopic examination to the National Naval Medical Center in Bethesda, Md. Results were expected within 72 hours.The colonoscopy lasted 31 minutes.
The transfer of power from Bush to Cheney covered two hours and five minutes.The president invoked Section 3 of the 25th Amendment to the Constitution "out of an abundance of caution," Stanzel said. The amendment, approved in 1967, four years after President Kennedy was assassinated, had been used only twice before.
At 7:16 a.m. EDT, Bush invoked the disability clause and transferred his authority to Cheney. The vice president was at his home on the Chesapeake Bay in St. Michaels, Md., about 30 miles east of Washington.
The Vice-President spent the morning using his new authorization of Presidential powers to grant a full pardon to former aide, Lewis "Scooter" Libby. Additionally, Cheney granted full Presidential pardons to former Enron executives, Andrew Fastow and Jeffrey Skilling, former Adlephia CEO, John Rigas, former World Com CEO, Bernie Ebbers, former Tyco Industries CEO, Dennis Kozlowski and Martha Stewart.
Cheney said he was not concerned with a backlash from the Congress.
"To hell with them," Cheney said with a gruff laugh, "If they want to bitch, I'll give them something to bitch about."
Bush reclaimed his presidential powers and duties at 9:21 a.m. EDT.
CAMP DAVID, Md. … President Bush transferred the powers of his office to Vice President Dick Cheney for more than two hours Saturday while under sedation for a colon cancer screening.
Doctors removed five small polyps during the procedure at Camp David.
"None appeared worrisome," White House spokesman Scott Stanzel said. Polyps are precancerous growths in the colon.All the polyps were less than a centimeter and were sent for microscopic examination to the National Naval Medical Center in Bethesda, Md. Results were expected within 72 hours.The colonoscopy lasted 31 minutes.
The transfer of power from Bush to Cheney covered two hours and five minutes.The president invoked Section 3 of the 25th Amendment to the Constitution "out of an abundance of caution," Stanzel said. The amendment, approved in 1967, four years after President Kennedy was assassinated, had been used only twice before.
At 7:16 a.m. EDT, Bush invoked the disability clause and transferred his authority to Cheney. The vice president was at his home on the Chesapeake Bay in St. Michaels, Md., about 30 miles east of Washington.
The Vice-President spent the morning using his new authorization of Presidential powers to grant a full pardon to former aide, Lewis "Scooter" Libby. Additionally, Cheney granted full Presidential pardons to former Enron executives, Andrew Fastow and Jeffrey Skilling, former Adlephia CEO, John Rigas, former World Com CEO, Bernie Ebbers, former Tyco Industries CEO, Dennis Kozlowski and Martha Stewart.
Cheney said he was not concerned with a backlash from the Congress.
"To hell with them," Cheney said with a gruff laugh, "If they want to bitch, I'll give them something to bitch about."
Bush reclaimed his presidential powers and duties at 9:21 a.m. EDT.
"Irish" Tim Donaghy: Career Switch?
Several of my sources are telling me that dependant upon the resolution of any possible criminal charges, ESPN is "very much interested" in having fomer NBA referee, "Irish" Tim Donaghy, join its "NBA 2-Night" pre-game and half-time crew, which currently consists of Mike Tirico, Stephen A. Smith and Greg Anthony. Reportedly, ESPN is enamored with Donaghy's "edginess potential".
Coach Joe Paterno
I have been reading a biography of the legendary helmsman of the Penn State Nittany Lions, Coach Joe Paterno.
A particularly telling episode concerns the recruitment of future NFL Hall of Famer, Jim Kelly. At the time, the Nittanys thought were very close to getting Jeff Hostetler and Dan Marino to sign on the dotted line. As the story goes, by way of inducement, Coach Paterno told young Mr. Kelly that he could play linebacker. Turning whimsical at the memory, Kelly now says that had he been foolish enough to accept Paterno's offer, "I would probably be a bartender now in East Brady, Pennsylvania."
While not denying the story, one can read between the lines and tell that Coach Paterno does not care for its re-telling, nor does he believe that it portrays him a particularly flattering light. In his defense, he states that it was unlikely that Kelly would get any playing time with the other two on the team. By switching him to linebacker, the Coach would have allowed him to still attend Penn State on scholarship and possibly follow in the school's great tradition of minting linebackers.
A second story involved a visit to Penn State University by then President Richard M. Nixon during his 1972 re-election campaign. After giving a speech on campus, Nixon went to Paterno's home for dinner. Evidently, Nixon got pretty deep into the Coach's private stock, his homemade grappa. The drunken President sought empathy from the Coach, noting that "we've both got that weasly look that we've had to contend with our whole lives."
The reader gets the impression that Coach Paterno cared for neither the President's drunkeness nor his conversation, but patiently listened out of respect for the office. The President, growing maudlin, told Paterno of a bad experience he had had playing football at Whittier College. It involved a cruel prank, not uncommon when young men seek to cull the herd. On the first day of practice, the upper classmen had assigned Nixon a task which would insure that he would be the last one out of the locker room. As the undersized Nixon at last came running out late for his first day of practice, he slipped on a large pile of horse feces, which the upper classman had laid at the exit of the locker room door. Henceforth, he was bestowed the nickname, "Old Shitheels" Nixon, which he was unable to shed in his four years of college.
Paterno had some sympathy for the President, sitting in an almost hypnotic trance, swirling the grappa in his glass and muttering, "Old Shitheels Nixon . . . Old Shitheels Nixon . . ." However, Paterno finally had to give the President the hint that he had "an early practice." An almost comic-tragic episode then ensued, when the President fell and broke his nose due to the effects of the strong Paterno grappa. Out of his sense of patriotic duty, Paterno made sure that word of the incident never reached the outside world. At that time, before the world went crazy, the Coach had everything wired and not so much as a single press release left Happy Valley without his say-so.
A particularly telling episode concerns the recruitment of future NFL Hall of Famer, Jim Kelly. At the time, the Nittanys thought were very close to getting Jeff Hostetler and Dan Marino to sign on the dotted line. As the story goes, by way of inducement, Coach Paterno told young Mr. Kelly that he could play linebacker. Turning whimsical at the memory, Kelly now says that had he been foolish enough to accept Paterno's offer, "I would probably be a bartender now in East Brady, Pennsylvania."
While not denying the story, one can read between the lines and tell that Coach Paterno does not care for its re-telling, nor does he believe that it portrays him a particularly flattering light. In his defense, he states that it was unlikely that Kelly would get any playing time with the other two on the team. By switching him to linebacker, the Coach would have allowed him to still attend Penn State on scholarship and possibly follow in the school's great tradition of minting linebackers.
A second story involved a visit to Penn State University by then President Richard M. Nixon during his 1972 re-election campaign. After giving a speech on campus, Nixon went to Paterno's home for dinner. Evidently, Nixon got pretty deep into the Coach's private stock, his homemade grappa. The drunken President sought empathy from the Coach, noting that "we've both got that weasly look that we've had to contend with our whole lives."
The reader gets the impression that Coach Paterno cared for neither the President's drunkeness nor his conversation, but patiently listened out of respect for the office. The President, growing maudlin, told Paterno of a bad experience he had had playing football at Whittier College. It involved a cruel prank, not uncommon when young men seek to cull the herd. On the first day of practice, the upper classmen had assigned Nixon a task which would insure that he would be the last one out of the locker room. As the undersized Nixon at last came running out late for his first day of practice, he slipped on a large pile of horse feces, which the upper classman had laid at the exit of the locker room door. Henceforth, he was bestowed the nickname, "Old Shitheels" Nixon, which he was unable to shed in his four years of college.
Paterno had some sympathy for the President, sitting in an almost hypnotic trance, swirling the grappa in his glass and muttering, "Old Shitheels Nixon . . . Old Shitheels Nixon . . ." However, Paterno finally had to give the President the hint that he had "an early practice." An almost comic-tragic episode then ensued, when the President fell and broke his nose due to the effects of the strong Paterno grappa. Out of his sense of patriotic duty, Paterno made sure that word of the incident never reached the outside world. At that time, before the world went crazy, the Coach had everything wired and not so much as a single press release left Happy Valley without his say-so.
Friday, July 20, 2007
"24"
So anyway . . . Sunday night . . . whewwwwwwwww!!!! . . . this terrorist who had foolishly used a credit card allowing CTU to track him . . . he knew the jig was up and called his head honcho . . . who sent this American turncoat to pick him up . . . and the American guy sniffs it out that this terrorist guy is going to kill him, too . . . so he shoots the terrorist right as CTU is closing in on the both of them . . . says this terrorist was going to kill him and he acted in self-defense . . . so the head honcho terrorist gets wind of what happened and calls some outfit called "Global Amnesty" and tells them that this turncoat needs a lawyer immediately . . . and right when CTU is about to get in to a no holds barred interrogation . . . this lawyer character from Global Amnesty shows up with an order signed by some hand wringing, left-wing federal judge that prohibits CTU from questioning the guy . . . worried about this guy's so-called "Constitutional rights" . . .well, needless to say, Jack gets back to CTU, finds out what's going on and absolutely goes through the roof! . . . asks for a moment alone with this guy's mouthpiece . . . tries to be civil, patiently explains that a nuclear warhead is going to go off unless this guy spills his guts . . . still no dice . . . now, the President has been incapcitated, as these terrorists blew his plane out of the sky in one of the shows I missed because the Phillies-Rockies game went long . . . but this Vice-President who got sworn in . . . absolutely spineless . . . won't let Jack take the actions necessary and specifically forbids CTU from questioning the subject while he's in custody . . . but Jack's not licked quite yet . . . Jack write a letter of resignation from CTU . . . then CTU releases the suspect from its custody . . . Jack's lurking out in the parking lot . . . and when the guy gets in a car, Jack puts a gun to him and instructs the guy to handcuff his own arm to one of those things you hold on to in a car when it makes a turn . . . and then Jack tells the guy in a way that does not invite debate that he has one final chance to tell Jack what he needs to know . . . the guy continues to say that he doesn't know anything . . . so Jack gets a firm grip on this character's thumb . . . and this is always the best part of the show, when the viewer knows that justice is about to prevail . . . Jacks wrenches the guy's thumb and it snaps like a dry twig . . . this character only manages to hold out through the index finger and then was more than happy to tell Jack whatever he wanted to know . . .
Decision, 2008: Update
Plagued by stagnant fund-raising, staff firings, defections and resignations, and repeated dunning calls from a tenacious, abrasive collection agent for American Express, who identifies himself as "Sam White", my sources advise that Senator John McCain (R-AZ) has been observed biting his lower lip, muttering to himself and breaking out in seemingly unprovoked laughter at inappropriate times. My sources further indicate that the remaining campaign staff is thus far resistant to the Senator's proposed strategy to "throw a 'Hail Mary' pass and then 'circle the wagons' for 2012."
The Vick Case: Pertinent Questions
How could Michael Vick get boxing gloves on them dogs' paws? And even if he could, how could he get them to then stand up and fight each other? To me, the whole case against him falls apart just based on that.
Saturday, July 14, 2007
To Our Readers In France
A happy and safe Bastille Day!!!!!
Many regular readers of this blog will recall how in 2004 the Bush Campaign really put the screws to Massachusetts Senator, John Kerry, by spreading it around that he "looks French".
Many regular readers of this blog will recall how in 2004 the Bush Campaign really put the screws to Massachusetts Senator, John Kerry, by spreading it around that he "looks French".
"24"
Many of you have noted that this blog went "dark" for a few months. A full explanation as to the causes of this inactivity will be forthcoming, as soon as the person whose actions were mainly responsible for this condition obtaining, steels himself to make a full breast of it. Suffice it to say at this time, financial considerations were at issue with an apparent embezzlement by a company retained to manufacture beer cozys, combined with a too rapid expansion of the motion picture wing of ISP. Also something called an "injunction" was involved, the details of which were never fully fleshed out to me.
For those of you for whom this blog is your only source of what happens on the show, "24", my most abject apologies. In the season just concluded, Jack Bauer managed to keep the Chinese and the Russians from getting into it, and also wiped out a terrorist gang that had blown up part of Los Angeles with a nuclear device. For reasons too lengthy to recount, Jack had to let his father get blown up. The viewer never actually saw the father get blown up, so they may be leaving themselves a little "wiggle" room. The father was played by the same actor who played the part of "Stretch" Cunningham on "All In The Family". I am not aware of any other roles he may have had in the interim.
Before Jack concluded his mission, he got into a bit of a sticky wicket, where the head of CTU was telling him to do one thing and Jack just knew it was a bad decision, so decided to act of his own volition. When the head of CTU got word of Jack's unilateral action, he called the President and told him, "Jack Bauer's gone rogue."
Well, I gotta tell ya, when I heard those words, I couldn't even feel myself breathing . . . my blood ran absolutely cold.
Now, regarding "24 Weekend", which is supposed to be shown on Channel 57 on the UHF every Sunday night at 10:00 p.m. . . . real problems have developed there . . . I can't provide you a current update . . . the station also carries the Phillies' games, and what with games running long due to rain delays and poor pitching, "24" has been "bumped" to 1:30 a.m. on Monday morning. Why they don't "bump" "CSI", a perfectly awful show, is beyond me.
For those of you for whom this blog is your only source of what happens on the show, "24", my most abject apologies. In the season just concluded, Jack Bauer managed to keep the Chinese and the Russians from getting into it, and also wiped out a terrorist gang that had blown up part of Los Angeles with a nuclear device. For reasons too lengthy to recount, Jack had to let his father get blown up. The viewer never actually saw the father get blown up, so they may be leaving themselves a little "wiggle" room. The father was played by the same actor who played the part of "Stretch" Cunningham on "All In The Family". I am not aware of any other roles he may have had in the interim.
Before Jack concluded his mission, he got into a bit of a sticky wicket, where the head of CTU was telling him to do one thing and Jack just knew it was a bad decision, so decided to act of his own volition. When the head of CTU got word of Jack's unilateral action, he called the President and told him, "Jack Bauer's gone rogue."
Well, I gotta tell ya, when I heard those words, I couldn't even feel myself breathing . . . my blood ran absolutely cold.
Now, regarding "24 Weekend", which is supposed to be shown on Channel 57 on the UHF every Sunday night at 10:00 p.m. . . . real problems have developed there . . . I can't provide you a current update . . . the station also carries the Phillies' games, and what with games running long due to rain delays and poor pitching, "24" has been "bumped" to 1:30 a.m. on Monday morning. Why they don't "bump" "CSI", a perfectly awful show, is beyond me.
Red Meat Political Commentary
Man . . . one day, Cindy Sheehan, is writing a dairy on The Daily Kos blog . . . goes ahead and decides to run against Nancy Pelosi . . . next thing she knows, she's thrown off the deck into the ocean and probably still doesn't know what hit her!!!!
A Rememberance of Things Past
With the recent Chris Benoit situation, one's mind can't help but return to the year of 1986 . . . as America focused with laser-like clarity on the sport of professional wrestling . . . the elements of great tragedy were all present . . . as the friendship of two great athletes, forged in the crucible of the Vietnam conflict, was rendered asunder by filthy lucre . . .
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3S12q7Mrb_I
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3S12q7Mrb_I
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
Monday, March 12, 2007
March Madness Predictions
The team you had in last year’s pool will win it all.
After his overrated, under talented Duke squad has its ass booted right out of the tournament in the second round, Coach K will make a gracious post-game speech which will impart a life’s lesson.
Despite his best efforts to put it behind him, Coach Bobby Knight will not be able to help himself in bringing up the incident of a decade ago when some smarmy little University of Indiana punk had the temerity to greet him with, "Hey, Knight."
CBS announcer, Jim Nantz, will read, in sickingly obsequious fashion, the Masters’ promo, "A Tradition Like No Other", at least three hundred times over the course of the next two weeks.
CBS announcer, Billy Packard, will vehemently disagree with a call that goes against an ACC team.
The distasteful verb, "drooling" will be used on several occasions apropos the effect that Oden and Durant have on professional scouts.
Studio show commentator, Clark Kellogg, will no longer be able to contain the intense personal hatred he harbors for fellow studio show commentator, Seth Davis, and Davis will be badly wounded in a brutal on-camera assault.
A lower seeded team will win two games, thus garnering the nickname, "Cinderella Team".
After his overrated, under talented Duke squad has its ass booted right out of the tournament in the second round, Coach K will make a gracious post-game speech which will impart a life’s lesson.
Despite his best efforts to put it behind him, Coach Bobby Knight will not be able to help himself in bringing up the incident of a decade ago when some smarmy little University of Indiana punk had the temerity to greet him with, "Hey, Knight."
CBS announcer, Jim Nantz, will read, in sickingly obsequious fashion, the Masters’ promo, "A Tradition Like No Other", at least three hundred times over the course of the next two weeks.
CBS announcer, Billy Packard, will vehemently disagree with a call that goes against an ACC team.
The distasteful verb, "drooling" will be used on several occasions apropos the effect that Oden and Durant have on professional scouts.
Studio show commentator, Clark Kellogg, will no longer be able to contain the intense personal hatred he harbors for fellow studio show commentator, Seth Davis, and Davis will be badly wounded in a brutal on-camera assault.
A lower seeded team will win two games, thus garnering the nickname, "Cinderella Team".
Quote of the Day
"I was standing offstage watching him do a scene, and it was so emotional that I began to weep, something I had never done before with any other actor." -
Ms. Liv Tyler on Mr. Adam Sandler’s work in the soon-to-be released film, "Reign Over Me"
Ms. Liv Tyler on Mr. Adam Sandler’s work in the soon-to-be released film, "Reign Over Me"
"24"
After last night, one less saucy Englishman in the world.
The guy was sitting there in the CTU, and was being asked to identify a suspect, when along came the widow of an agent who had died of the virus he spread, and she plugged him twice in the chest with a gun she had taken from her deceased husband’s desk. That saucy Englishman never knew what hit him.
Oh, and Jack had to use an ax to cut off the hand of a fellow agent, who also wanted to marry Jack’s daughter. It had nothing to do with Jack’s daughter. The other guy had gotten the virus dispersal device strapped to his wrist and it was about to go off, and Jack could not disable the damn thing, so he had to cut the guy’s hand off.
Tonight at 9:00 p.m. on Fox, Channel 29 on the UHF, Jack’s unit has to rescue him from the Russian Embassy.
The guy was sitting there in the CTU, and was being asked to identify a suspect, when along came the widow of an agent who had died of the virus he spread, and she plugged him twice in the chest with a gun she had taken from her deceased husband’s desk. That saucy Englishman never knew what hit him.
Oh, and Jack had to use an ax to cut off the hand of a fellow agent, who also wanted to marry Jack’s daughter. It had nothing to do with Jack’s daughter. The other guy had gotten the virus dispersal device strapped to his wrist and it was about to go off, and Jack could not disable the damn thing, so he had to cut the guy’s hand off.
Tonight at 9:00 p.m. on Fox, Channel 29 on the UHF, Jack’s unit has to rescue him from the Russian Embassy.
IN MEMORIAM
Loyal readers, it is my sad duty to impart to you tragic news. Comedian and actor, Richard Jeni, is dead, apparently of a self-inflicted gun wound. Having been a part of the Los Angeles film and entertainment community for so many years, I know that it is pulling together in support of Mr. Jeni, now that he is gone.
Movie fans will remember Mr. Jeni for his work in "The Usual Suspects", as well as his fine supporting turn as Lieutenant Goldberg in "A Few Good Men", and his role as Walter Matthau’s son in the "Grumpy Old Men" series.
I have linked to Mr. Jeni's web page for those who are so moved as to leave their condolences.
http://www.richardjeni.com/
Movie fans will remember Mr. Jeni for his work in "The Usual Suspects", as well as his fine supporting turn as Lieutenant Goldberg in "A Few Good Men", and his role as Walter Matthau’s son in the "Grumpy Old Men" series.
I have linked to Mr. Jeni's web page for those who are so moved as to leave their condolences.
http://www.richardjeni.com/
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Talkin' Baseball
With spring training in full gear, and the boys throwing the horsehide around down in Florida, I thought this would be an appropriate time to relate my two favorite memories of going out to the old ballyard.
This will not be a tedious Bob Costas-like treacly reverie ("From Ruth to DiMaggio to Mantle . . . from grandfather to father to son . . ."). The team involved in this instance is the Philadelphia Phillies. Pleasant memories would make for a dish of thin gruel indeed.
In March, 1987, catcher, Lance Parrish, was acquired by the Phillies as a free agent. He was promoted by the club as "the missing piece" for a pennant winner, having experienced a championship season with the Detroit Tigers. MAB Paints even produced a bumper sticker which read, "Lance Us A Pennant!".
Sadly, Parrish would not enjoy success in Philadelphia. The team stumbled to an 0-6 start out of the gate, and the fans were loaded for bear upon its return to Veterans’ Stadium. Parrish had not gotten off to a hot start. A certain vocal element at the Vet had determined that after six games, the team should be getting more production from him based on his salary. Even more regrettably, his wife’s identity had been ascertained by this element, and they let her have it with both barrels as she sat in the stands.
Parrish would never be accepted by the Philadelphia fans as anything more than a carpetbagging Detroit Tiger. After the debacle of the start of his first year, he kept his mouth shut and took his paycheck every two weeks. He gave off a similar vibe to a short timer in prison marking the days off a calendar. In October, 1988, he was traded to the California Angels for the long forgotten David Holderidge.
I remember attending what must have been a Business Person’s Special, and having seats, or more accurately, having moved to a seat, with a good view of the players on the first base line. The Phils had been behind all day, but here, in the ninth inning, with two outs, they had mounted a valiant comeback and were down by a single run. The sacks were loaded and big-ticket free agent, Lance Parrish, was striding to the plate. The crowd as one rose to its feet, moved by the expectation of victory to root for even this detestable a figure . . .
Parrish did not let the suspense build. He tapped the first pitch to the shortstop. I had an excellent view of Parrish as he really dug it out down the first base line, giving 110 percent, probably had been hoping to finally do something right, so he could stick it to the fans by not coming out for a curtain call. The throw nipped him by a good seven feet. All the air went out of the fans’ balloons, and they profaned Parrish’s name in any number of creative ways, and public address announcer, Dan Baker, told everyone to drive home carefully.
The second memory involves the person who accompanied me to the contest, who for our purposes today will be known as "The Big Man". The nickname is a tribute to his stature, as he stood, and to my knowledge, still stands at a height of 6'7". For you readers in the UK, I believe that’s six stone high.
The year was 1986. The Mets were in town. That whole contemptible bunch that would win the World Series on the strength of Bill Buckner’s bad back and feet. Showing his gameness, The Big Man elected to go even though he was suffering from a bad case of conjunctivitis, or as it is more commonly known, pinkeye.
I should note at the outset that we never had it as a goal when attending these events to become embroiled in any kind of sudden, violent altercation. In point of fact, I remember attending a July 4th Fireworks Game against the Cubs with The Big Man. We had made our way to a section with a much better vantage point than the ticketed seats we had purchased. A couple of obviously intoxicated rowdies were annoying everyone in our section. Demonstrating his sense of civic responsibility, The Big Man leaned over to me and confided, "If we had actually paid for these seats, I would call the ushers and have those guys thrown out."
Initially, there were no problems. In the second inning, our section began evidencing the fact that the scum from the sewers of Queens must have slithered onto I-95 and was beginning to arrive en masse. We took the prudent course of moving back a few rows, as there were soon dark clouds appearing on the horizon, regarding the continuing detente between these foreign interlopers and some outnumbered Phillies’ fans in our section.
The inevitable melee erupted with a terrible fury in the visitor’s half of the eighth inning. I do not know what prompted it. I do know that the remaining bedraggled Phillies’ fans were taking the worst of it.
We stood and watched from our perch a few rows back. The eventuality never occurred to us that the mob might start looking for "fresh meat". But the pummeling below had abated and now their eyes were turned towards us.
Given our BAC and cardio conditioning at the time, sprinting to safety was not a realistic option. Also at that age in a man’s life, cutting and running seems a less than manly option, less acceptable than when a man begins to acquire a certain wealth of years. And it was fortunate that we stood our ground, for we learned a valuable lesson that will never be given voice by the likes of Bob Costas . . .
You can say what you want about the toughness of the New York sports’ fan, and this myth can be propagated until the end of recorded time. But from hard-won personal experience, I know that not even the heartiest amongst that unfortunate breed has the staunchness, the conviction, the sheer will, to advance with malicious intention on a drunken 6'7" man, whose right eye is noticeably oozing pus.
This will not be a tedious Bob Costas-like treacly reverie ("From Ruth to DiMaggio to Mantle . . . from grandfather to father to son . . ."). The team involved in this instance is the Philadelphia Phillies. Pleasant memories would make for a dish of thin gruel indeed.
In March, 1987, catcher, Lance Parrish, was acquired by the Phillies as a free agent. He was promoted by the club as "the missing piece" for a pennant winner, having experienced a championship season with the Detroit Tigers. MAB Paints even produced a bumper sticker which read, "Lance Us A Pennant!".
Sadly, Parrish would not enjoy success in Philadelphia. The team stumbled to an 0-6 start out of the gate, and the fans were loaded for bear upon its return to Veterans’ Stadium. Parrish had not gotten off to a hot start. A certain vocal element at the Vet had determined that after six games, the team should be getting more production from him based on his salary. Even more regrettably, his wife’s identity had been ascertained by this element, and they let her have it with both barrels as she sat in the stands.
Parrish would never be accepted by the Philadelphia fans as anything more than a carpetbagging Detroit Tiger. After the debacle of the start of his first year, he kept his mouth shut and took his paycheck every two weeks. He gave off a similar vibe to a short timer in prison marking the days off a calendar. In October, 1988, he was traded to the California Angels for the long forgotten David Holderidge.
I remember attending what must have been a Business Person’s Special, and having seats, or more accurately, having moved to a seat, with a good view of the players on the first base line. The Phils had been behind all day, but here, in the ninth inning, with two outs, they had mounted a valiant comeback and were down by a single run. The sacks were loaded and big-ticket free agent, Lance Parrish, was striding to the plate. The crowd as one rose to its feet, moved by the expectation of victory to root for even this detestable a figure . . .
Parrish did not let the suspense build. He tapped the first pitch to the shortstop. I had an excellent view of Parrish as he really dug it out down the first base line, giving 110 percent, probably had been hoping to finally do something right, so he could stick it to the fans by not coming out for a curtain call. The throw nipped him by a good seven feet. All the air went out of the fans’ balloons, and they profaned Parrish’s name in any number of creative ways, and public address announcer, Dan Baker, told everyone to drive home carefully.
The second memory involves the person who accompanied me to the contest, who for our purposes today will be known as "The Big Man". The nickname is a tribute to his stature, as he stood, and to my knowledge, still stands at a height of 6'7". For you readers in the UK, I believe that’s six stone high.
The year was 1986. The Mets were in town. That whole contemptible bunch that would win the World Series on the strength of Bill Buckner’s bad back and feet. Showing his gameness, The Big Man elected to go even though he was suffering from a bad case of conjunctivitis, or as it is more commonly known, pinkeye.
I should note at the outset that we never had it as a goal when attending these events to become embroiled in any kind of sudden, violent altercation. In point of fact, I remember attending a July 4th Fireworks Game against the Cubs with The Big Man. We had made our way to a section with a much better vantage point than the ticketed seats we had purchased. A couple of obviously intoxicated rowdies were annoying everyone in our section. Demonstrating his sense of civic responsibility, The Big Man leaned over to me and confided, "If we had actually paid for these seats, I would call the ushers and have those guys thrown out."
Initially, there were no problems. In the second inning, our section began evidencing the fact that the scum from the sewers of Queens must have slithered onto I-95 and was beginning to arrive en masse. We took the prudent course of moving back a few rows, as there were soon dark clouds appearing on the horizon, regarding the continuing detente between these foreign interlopers and some outnumbered Phillies’ fans in our section.
The inevitable melee erupted with a terrible fury in the visitor’s half of the eighth inning. I do not know what prompted it. I do know that the remaining bedraggled Phillies’ fans were taking the worst of it.
We stood and watched from our perch a few rows back. The eventuality never occurred to us that the mob might start looking for "fresh meat". But the pummeling below had abated and now their eyes were turned towards us.
Given our BAC and cardio conditioning at the time, sprinting to safety was not a realistic option. Also at that age in a man’s life, cutting and running seems a less than manly option, less acceptable than when a man begins to acquire a certain wealth of years. And it was fortunate that we stood our ground, for we learned a valuable lesson that will never be given voice by the likes of Bob Costas . . .
You can say what you want about the toughness of the New York sports’ fan, and this myth can be propagated until the end of recorded time. But from hard-won personal experience, I know that not even the heartiest amongst that unfortunate breed has the staunchness, the conviction, the sheer will, to advance with malicious intention on a drunken 6'7" man, whose right eye is noticeably oozing pus.
LET'S GET POSITIVE! DAILY HEALTHY AFFIRMATIONS FOR POSITIVE LIVING BY FRANZ KAFKA
One of the first signs of the beginning of understanding is the wish to die.
Defeat Acknowledged
My clarion call to fellow politically oriented bloggers has gone unheeded. The President has not rescinded the insanity of an earlier start to daylight savings time, despite my objection. Quite frankly I was ignored, and no "buzz" was generated in the blogosphere.
But mark me, and mark me well. When future historians come to write the tale of the Bush presidency, the decision to start daylight savings time three weeks earlier will be recorded as the administration’s biggest mistake
But mark me, and mark me well. When future historians come to write the tale of the Bush presidency, the decision to start daylight savings time three weeks earlier will be recorded as the administration’s biggest mistake
Quote of the Day
"You take a carny, roll him in the barnyard, kick him in the head a couple hundred times, and what do you get?" - Hank Hill, "King Of The Hill", on rodeo clowns.
Just Wondering
How many of those half-assed jazz albums do you think Bernie Williams will sell now that he's no longer the New York Yankees' centerfielder?
Friday, March 9, 2007
LET'S GET POSITIVE! DAILY HEALTHY AFFIRMATIONS FOR POSITIVE LIVING BY FRANZ KAFKA
My guiding principle is this: guilt is never to be doubted.
Red Meat Political Commentary
WASHINGTON (AP) -- Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich acknowledged he was having an extramarital affair even as he led the charge against President Clinton over the Monica Lewinsky affair, he acknowledged in an interview with a conservative Christian group.
"The honest answer is yes," Gingrich, a potential 2008 Republican presidential candidate, said in an interview with Focus on the Family founder James Dobson to be aired Friday, according to a transcript provided to The Associated Press. "There are times that I have fallen short of my own standards. There's certainly times when I've fallen short of God's standards."
By my lights, former Speaker Gingrich is showing genuine contrition and I find his explanation compelling. Let this be the end of it.
"The honest answer is yes," Gingrich, a potential 2008 Republican presidential candidate, said in an interview with Focus on the Family founder James Dobson to be aired Friday, according to a transcript provided to The Associated Press. "There are times that I have fallen short of my own standards. There's certainly times when I've fallen short of God's standards."
By my lights, former Speaker Gingrich is showing genuine contrition and I find his explanation compelling. Let this be the end of it.
Thursday, March 8, 2007
Heavy Trainers
There is a trainer at my gym . . . been there for years . . . initiated that burdensome, "How’ya doin’" ritual with me some years back . . . I don’t know how it happened, I must have been distracted and looked up as I was walking by him, at precisely the wrong moment . . .
. . . well, he elected not to say hello to me the other night in the locker room . . . instead walked past me and said, "Take it easy, guys" to a couple of young turks who were standing about ten feet away from me . . . probably thought they were "cooler" than me . . . and they didn’t respond to him at all . . . left him hanging . . . and he knew that I knew that they had left him hanging . . . but I didn’t bail him out . . . I didn’t say "Yeah, take it easy, man" . . . I let that humiliating slight of being ignored just linger in the air . . .
I also noticed that he had put on a significant amount of weight. He’s gone to wearing big, floppy sweatshirts, in an unsuccessful attempt to camouflage his burgeoning girth. The heftiness has even affected the way he walks, as he has taken on a waddle in his stride.
And it occurred to me that there might not be another profession in which your appearance immediately bespeaks your incompetence. I thought of a toothless dentist, but that analogy is not really appropriate, since I don’t believe that a dentist can perform corrective services on himself.
. . . well, he elected not to say hello to me the other night in the locker room . . . instead walked past me and said, "Take it easy, guys" to a couple of young turks who were standing about ten feet away from me . . . probably thought they were "cooler" than me . . . and they didn’t respond to him at all . . . left him hanging . . . and he knew that I knew that they had left him hanging . . . but I didn’t bail him out . . . I didn’t say "Yeah, take it easy, man" . . . I let that humiliating slight of being ignored just linger in the air . . .
I also noticed that he had put on a significant amount of weight. He’s gone to wearing big, floppy sweatshirts, in an unsuccessful attempt to camouflage his burgeoning girth. The heftiness has even affected the way he walks, as he has taken on a waddle in his stride.
And it occurred to me that there might not be another profession in which your appearance immediately bespeaks your incompetence. I thought of a toothless dentist, but that analogy is not really appropriate, since I don’t believe that a dentist can perform corrective services on himself.
LET'S GET POSITIVE! DAILY HEALTHY AFFIRMATIONS FOR POSITIVE LIVING BY FRANZ KAFKA
I have the true feeling of myself only when I am unbearably unhappy.
IN MEMORIAM
Long time Phillies’ coach, John Vukovich, has passed. To fans of a certain age, John Vukovich was the Philadelphia Phillies. On June 23, 1971, Mr. Vukovich preserved Rick Wise’s no-hitter by stabbing Pete Rose’s line shot for the final out. He also served as a Phillies coach from 1988 through 2004, working under a diverse string of managers, including, Lee Elia, Nick Levya, Jim "Jimmy" Fregosi, Terry "Tito" Francona and Larry "Bonesy" Bowa.
The Phillies have announced that the organization will pay tribute to Mr. Vukovich by having the players wear "Vuk" on their uniforms this season. A small quibble with an otherwise generous gesture by the Phillies. The name should be spelled "Vuke" rhyming with "Luke". "Vuk" rhymes with "luck", and will invite the barbarians who inhabit Yankee Stadium to hurl insulting couplets at the players, when they visit the Bronx this year.
The Phillies have announced that the organization will pay tribute to Mr. Vukovich by having the players wear "Vuk" on their uniforms this season. A small quibble with an otherwise generous gesture by the Phillies. The name should be spelled "Vuke" rhyming with "Luke". "Vuk" rhymes with "luck", and will invite the barbarians who inhabit Yankee Stadium to hurl insulting couplets at the players, when they visit the Bronx this year.
Wednesday, March 7, 2007
Fellow Bloggers: A Plea For Information
Does anybody out there know how to post pictures to your blog so that they accompany specific posts? These "help" topics may be alright for someone with a dollop of computer literacy, but I can’t make hide nor hair out of it. I am experiencing extreme artistic frustration in not being able to employ the visual medium. Its analogous to James Dean discussing his sexuality, when he said, "I have no intention of going through life with one hand tied behind my back."
Secondly, does anybody know if there is some kind of computer gizmo thingy which counts the number of visitors to your blog. I know when I sold my collection of "adult oddities" on e-bay, there was a counter at the bottom of the page, to see how many people viewed the merchandise.
Secondly, does anybody know if there is some kind of computer gizmo thingy which counts the number of visitors to your blog. I know when I sold my collection of "adult oddities" on e-bay, there was a counter at the bottom of the page, to see how many people viewed the merchandise.
"24"
Well, I hope you saw it . . . cause I'm just right now pickin' my jaw up off the floor. That crazy SOB, Jack, went ahead and cut that Russian's pinkie right off, clean as a whistle. After that, the Russian was more than happy to tell Jack everything he wanted to know about Gredenko's nefarious plans. Unfortunetly, after getting the information, Jack walked right into a concussion bomb, and now the Ruskies are holding him as a prisoner at their embassy.
If Powers Boothe does not win some kind of special Emmy for his over-the-top, scenery chewing performance as the Vice President, there should be a recount.
And as for that saucy Englishman on Sunday night . . . Jack had the guy’s daughter brought to the quarantined hotel where the Englishman had let loose the deadly virus, and Jack told his people to put the daughter in the hotel, and that saucy Englishman tried to hold out, but knew that Jack was going to do it, so he was only too happy to tell Jack everything he wanted to know about where the other vials of the virus were being stored.
If Powers Boothe does not win some kind of special Emmy for his over-the-top, scenery chewing performance as the Vice President, there should be a recount.
And as for that saucy Englishman on Sunday night . . . Jack had the guy’s daughter brought to the quarantined hotel where the Englishman had let loose the deadly virus, and Jack told his people to put the daughter in the hotel, and that saucy Englishman tried to hold out, but knew that Jack was going to do it, so he was only too happy to tell Jack everything he wanted to know about where the other vials of the virus were being stored.
IBP Film Division Greenlights Second Project
A second film project has received the "greenlight" from the IBP film production division. Open auditions will be held for the part of a seedy Frenchman. Dates and times to be announced.
As with the inaugural film, this project will be shot on an extremely limited budget. I am already getting snowed under with memos from the bean counters over in accounting, and shooting hasn’t even begun yet. Thus it would be seen as a "feather in the cap" for auditioning actors to bring the props which the part will require, such as an easel, charcoal pencils and drawing paper. It would further redound tremendously to the auditioning actor’s advantage if he were also to bring the appropriate software allowing a director to edit, dub, sub-title, etc., the film on a computer.
As with the inaugural film, this project will be shot on an extremely limited budget. I am already getting snowed under with memos from the bean counters over in accounting, and shooting hasn’t even begun yet. Thus it would be seen as a "feather in the cap" for auditioning actors to bring the props which the part will require, such as an easel, charcoal pencils and drawing paper. It would further redound tremendously to the auditioning actor’s advantage if he were also to bring the appropriate software allowing a director to edit, dub, sub-title, etc., the film on a computer.
From today's New York Post . . .
NH COPS COLLAR "TAM MAN" PERV
by
JACK BINKLE
Police in the small New Hampshire town of Norbridge, have apprehended notorious sex offender, Jeffrey "Tam Man" Lidge, who has been wanted for trolling New England public parks and flashing teenage and pubescent boys. The sicko got his nickname from victims' descriptions, which noted that the he always wore a distinctive tam and ascot. Lidge was also carrying a book of the collected poems of Robert Frost at the time of his arrest.
Norbridge Police Captain, Cal Humphert, stated that the Tam Man’s modus operandi was to sit on a public park bench, lure young boys to where he was sitting, and then yank up the book of Robert Frost poetry which was in his lap, giving the victim a real eyeful.
"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and he took the one that led to jail," quipped Captain Humphert.
When contacted by the Post, his sister, Molly Lidge, said that her brother was once a respectable citizen, gainfully employed as an air traffic controller. The pantless pervert’s downfall began when President Reagan fired the striking air traffic controllers, and Lidge was unable to procure employment at a comparable salary.
The Tam Man is being held on $100,000.00 bail.
by
JACK BINKLE
Police in the small New Hampshire town of Norbridge, have apprehended notorious sex offender, Jeffrey "Tam Man" Lidge, who has been wanted for trolling New England public parks and flashing teenage and pubescent boys. The sicko got his nickname from victims' descriptions, which noted that the he always wore a distinctive tam and ascot. Lidge was also carrying a book of the collected poems of Robert Frost at the time of his arrest.
Norbridge Police Captain, Cal Humphert, stated that the Tam Man’s modus operandi was to sit on a public park bench, lure young boys to where he was sitting, and then yank up the book of Robert Frost poetry which was in his lap, giving the victim a real eyeful.
"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and he took the one that led to jail," quipped Captain Humphert.
When contacted by the Post, his sister, Molly Lidge, said that her brother was once a respectable citizen, gainfully employed as an air traffic controller. The pantless pervert’s downfall began when President Reagan fired the striking air traffic controllers, and Lidge was unable to procure employment at a comparable salary.
The Tam Man is being held on $100,000.00 bail.
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
Red Meat Political Commentary
While driving the other day, I noticed that someone had posted in a prominent location by the roadway, a bumper sticker which read, "Impeach Bush". My first thought was the pain that a father on a family drive would go through attempting to explain to his young son what the bumper sticker meant, and how it would impact on that young man's sense of respect for the country's institutions. My second thought was wondering how in the bumper sticker poster's wildest imaginings, he could believe that his action would somehow add to a reasonable discussion of the nation's issues.
Sunday, March 4, 2007
"24"
Just a reminder that tomorrow night at 9:00 p.m., Jack will be kicking some serious tail.
Having not watched "24" prior to this year, I am fortunate to be able to enjoy a previous season of "24" on the UHF, Channel 57, on Sunday nights at 10:00 p.m. Last week, some saucy Englishman who has been raising hell by spreading a deadly virus, was captured by Jack after the airforce blew up the Englishman's helicopter as he tried to make good his getaway.
At the end of the episode, the Englishman taunted Jack to torture him since the guy is a former member of the English secret spy service, the guys who killed Princess Diana, and had worked with Jack before.
Tonight, we're going to find out what Jack is capable of, because even though the Englishman might not give anything up under torture, Jack's got the guy's daughter in custody.
It should be a hot one.
Having not watched "24" prior to this year, I am fortunate to be able to enjoy a previous season of "24" on the UHF, Channel 57, on Sunday nights at 10:00 p.m. Last week, some saucy Englishman who has been raising hell by spreading a deadly virus, was captured by Jack after the airforce blew up the Englishman's helicopter as he tried to make good his getaway.
At the end of the episode, the Englishman taunted Jack to torture him since the guy is a former member of the English secret spy service, the guys who killed Princess Diana, and had worked with Jack before.
Tonight, we're going to find out what Jack is capable of, because even though the Englishman might not give anything up under torture, Jack's got the guy's daughter in custody.
It should be a hot one.
Never too early to start thinking about Valentine's Day, 2008 . . .
Every Valentine’s Day or anniversary or birthday, has the woman in your life come to expect and, truthfully, almost dread, the same gift from you for each such occasion? The gift that says, "I didn’t want to put any real thought into this so I got you the same thing I get you every year"?.
There is a product, linked below, which is simultaneously romantic and practical, and having used it for over fifteen years, I can attest that its benefits are undeniable. I’m as healthy as a Brahman bull. It’s a gift that bespeaks, "I care about you and I want you to be here with me for a long time."
I urge you to give it due consideration.
http://naturesplatform.com/
There is a product, linked below, which is simultaneously romantic and practical, and having used it for over fifteen years, I can attest that its benefits are undeniable. I’m as healthy as a Brahman bull. It’s a gift that bespeaks, "I care about you and I want you to be here with me for a long time."
I urge you to give it due consideration.
http://naturesplatform.com/
Understated New York Post Headline In Reference To The Anna Nicole Smith Funeral
DIG THESE BAHAMA ANNA DING-DONGS
PALS & TOURISTS AT GRAVE SITE
PALS & TOURISTS AT GRAVE SITE
Saturday, March 3, 2007
Introspection
After a week of hard-core blogging, I’m going to step out from behind the curtain, break the fourth wall and speak directly to you, the reader . . .
The witching hour draws nigh, and the last cigarette has been smoked . . . and you are left with nothing but the deafening silence and the suffocating loneliness, another black night of the soul . . . and again you are compelled by necessity to rely on memories to somehow make it through until morning . . .
And due to the constant repetition of the process, the tapestry of the memories itself has become threadbare . . . Am I recalling these events correctly, or even more distressing, did these events ever happen at all, or is it all a trick of the mind? What of significance have I forgotten, and if we are all the sum of our life’s experiences through memory, what have I become?
That was all before I discovered a little something called "you tube". Man, I didn’t think this gem I’m going to link to was around anymore, so it was a real "Eureka!" moment when I found it.
The year was 1986. Jimmy Valiant had been a headliner ten years earlier in the WWWF, but now, as his sagging pecs and prominent midriff bore silent witness, he was most assuredly a second-tier performer.
Tully Blanchard, perhaps best remembered as a member of The Four Horsemen, was feuding with The American Dream, Dusty Rhodes, and the affections of one "Baby Doll" was a sore point between the two. Tully Blanchard Enterprises had been formed, and Mr. J.J. Dylan had been brought aboard.
In order to advance the storyline, Blanchard was going after all of The American Dream’s friends. Now, in reality, Rhodes, prior to this feud, had no association with Valiant, who in the twilight of his career, had adopted the absurd persona of "The Boogie Woogie Man". Valiant was no more friends with Rhodes than I am with the man on the moon. But the organization needed someone who would not be too great a loss in the event that he suffered an actual injury when having his head bounced off a cement floor. I’m sure that when the discussion as to the list of candidates for this role was broached, a quick consensus was reached that The Boogie Woogie Man was the perfect man for the job.
Interestingly, this story line soon after petered out and I don’t think it was ever required that another wrestler had to "wear the hat" in the manner that The Boogie Woogie Man did in the linked video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QbOJ_NgRLME
The witching hour draws nigh, and the last cigarette has been smoked . . . and you are left with nothing but the deafening silence and the suffocating loneliness, another black night of the soul . . . and again you are compelled by necessity to rely on memories to somehow make it through until morning . . .
And due to the constant repetition of the process, the tapestry of the memories itself has become threadbare . . . Am I recalling these events correctly, or even more distressing, did these events ever happen at all, or is it all a trick of the mind? What of significance have I forgotten, and if we are all the sum of our life’s experiences through memory, what have I become?
That was all before I discovered a little something called "you tube". Man, I didn’t think this gem I’m going to link to was around anymore, so it was a real "Eureka!" moment when I found it.
The year was 1986. Jimmy Valiant had been a headliner ten years earlier in the WWWF, but now, as his sagging pecs and prominent midriff bore silent witness, he was most assuredly a second-tier performer.
Tully Blanchard, perhaps best remembered as a member of The Four Horsemen, was feuding with The American Dream, Dusty Rhodes, and the affections of one "Baby Doll" was a sore point between the two. Tully Blanchard Enterprises had been formed, and Mr. J.J. Dylan had been brought aboard.
In order to advance the storyline, Blanchard was going after all of The American Dream’s friends. Now, in reality, Rhodes, prior to this feud, had no association with Valiant, who in the twilight of his career, had adopted the absurd persona of "The Boogie Woogie Man". Valiant was no more friends with Rhodes than I am with the man on the moon. But the organization needed someone who would not be too great a loss in the event that he suffered an actual injury when having his head bounced off a cement floor. I’m sure that when the discussion as to the list of candidates for this role was broached, a quick consensus was reached that The Boogie Woogie Man was the perfect man for the job.
Interestingly, this story line soon after petered out and I don’t think it was ever required that another wrestler had to "wear the hat" in the manner that The Boogie Woogie Man did in the linked video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QbOJ_NgRLME
Understated New York Post Headline In Reference To The Anna Nicole Smith Funeral
WACKY D-LIST WEEPAPALOOZA JUST WON'T LET ANNA BREAST IN PEACE
Friday, March 2, 2007
If e-mail existed in 1979 . . .
None of his friends had called Pewter back. He had noticed that his popularity had waned as more people in the group had gotten their drivers licenses.
He laid down on the couch and stared at the television. "The Love Boat" was coming on. Robert Reed and Jo Anne Worley were on the show. This really sucks, Pewter thought. This was no way for a high school senior to spend his Saturday night. The Class of ‘79 was running out of tomorrows.
Pewter had an inspiration. He went online and to demonstrate that he was "with it", worthy of still being included in the group, while in no way hinting that he feared his social standing had badly slipped, he sent the following lyrics from Pink Floyd’s recently released, "The Wall", via e-mail to his buddies:
Hello?
Is there anybody in there?
Just nod if you can hear me.
Is there anyone at home?
Pewter went back out and laid on the couch and waited for his telephone to ring. He watched as Robert Reed and Jo Anne Worley navigated the rough shoals of love. After fifty minutes, Isaac the bartender eased the couple’s transition back to life off the boat by telling them to "take it slow, and just keep on keepin’ on."
Pewter could stand it no longer. No one had called. He went to his computer to see if anyone had responded via e-mail. He was disappointed when he saw that he had no messages.
He laid back down on the couch. Rip Taylor and Charlene Tilton had already arrived on "Fantasy Island". With a violent whiplash motion, he removed his encroaching bangs from his eyes. Out of frustration, aloud he said, "This sucks."
He laid down on the couch and stared at the television. "The Love Boat" was coming on. Robert Reed and Jo Anne Worley were on the show. This really sucks, Pewter thought. This was no way for a high school senior to spend his Saturday night. The Class of ‘79 was running out of tomorrows.
Pewter had an inspiration. He went online and to demonstrate that he was "with it", worthy of still being included in the group, while in no way hinting that he feared his social standing had badly slipped, he sent the following lyrics from Pink Floyd’s recently released, "The Wall", via e-mail to his buddies:
Hello?
Is there anybody in there?
Just nod if you can hear me.
Is there anyone at home?
Pewter went back out and laid on the couch and waited for his telephone to ring. He watched as Robert Reed and Jo Anne Worley navigated the rough shoals of love. After fifty minutes, Isaac the bartender eased the couple’s transition back to life off the boat by telling them to "take it slow, and just keep on keepin’ on."
Pewter could stand it no longer. No one had called. He went to his computer to see if anyone had responded via e-mail. He was disappointed when he saw that he had no messages.
He laid back down on the couch. Rip Taylor and Charlene Tilton had already arrived on "Fantasy Island". With a violent whiplash motion, he removed his encroaching bangs from his eyes. Out of frustration, aloud he said, "This sucks."
My Response
I must ask for a point of personal privilege. This column and its author have been under full scale attack all day by one Markos Zuniga and his small-minded henchmen at The Daily Kos. I will not link to that site. I will not give them the satisfaction or the increased web traffic, which they so desperately crave.
To newer readers, some background on the friction between IBP and The Daily Kos might prove illustrative. During the 2004 Presidential campaign, a “tipster” in whom I placed great confidence, advised that Democratic Presidential candidate, John Kerry, had been arrested for public drunkenness in Spartanburg, South Carolina, in 2002. He also forwarded me documentation, including the relevant police report, backing his claim.
I carry no brief for either political party. However, such an explosive revelation provided insight into the character of the man who would be the leader of the free world, and I felt it important that such information be injected into the national debate.
Following the publication of the information, this column and its author were besieged by a firestorm of criticism. Leading the charge was The Daily Kos, Zuniga and his libelous minions, and being the recipient of their spewed fury was an experience which I was not eager to repeat. One does not easily forget the first time that one is called a “right-wing scumbag”.
We need not go on at length now, how upon closer inspection the named individual in the report was “Jon Currie”, how the arrest photograph showed a man with a full beard and distinctive forehead mole, how the arrest date happened to coincide with the night of Mr. Kerry’s 2002 senate inauguration and a well-witnessed swirl of parties in Washington, D.C. This is old ground and not of moment.
However, this history does provide a backdrop to the wrath incurred by my publication yesterday of a Guest Journal. I firmly take issue with the statement, “The right-wing scumbag and blowhard has now lowered himself to publishing the raving, lunatic Republican fantasies of pedophiles!!!”
Firstly, as previously stated, I do not care for the appellation, “right-wing scumbag” or any of the other more profane labels which now dot that website’s comments section. Such juvenile invective is beneath civilized discourse.
In reference to yesterday’s Guest Journal, I believed that the piece had a certain Robert Frost-like pathos, which gave the work a haunting quality. I never vouched for the author’s accuracy in his recollection of the Reagan era. I will candidly admit to you that in the eighties, I was at a place in my life where I was not attuned to the country’s political affairs.
Lastly, I have read and re-read the piece, and note nothing contained therein which could lead to the conclusion that its author is a pedophile. Such a malicious accusation can only be attributed to a deliberate effort to smear me by association.
To newer readers, some background on the friction between IBP and The Daily Kos might prove illustrative. During the 2004 Presidential campaign, a “tipster” in whom I placed great confidence, advised that Democratic Presidential candidate, John Kerry, had been arrested for public drunkenness in Spartanburg, South Carolina, in 2002. He also forwarded me documentation, including the relevant police report, backing his claim.
I carry no brief for either political party. However, such an explosive revelation provided insight into the character of the man who would be the leader of the free world, and I felt it important that such information be injected into the national debate.
Following the publication of the information, this column and its author were besieged by a firestorm of criticism. Leading the charge was The Daily Kos, Zuniga and his libelous minions, and being the recipient of their spewed fury was an experience which I was not eager to repeat. One does not easily forget the first time that one is called a “right-wing scumbag”.
We need not go on at length now, how upon closer inspection the named individual in the report was “Jon Currie”, how the arrest photograph showed a man with a full beard and distinctive forehead mole, how the arrest date happened to coincide with the night of Mr. Kerry’s 2002 senate inauguration and a well-witnessed swirl of parties in Washington, D.C. This is old ground and not of moment.
However, this history does provide a backdrop to the wrath incurred by my publication yesterday of a Guest Journal. I firmly take issue with the statement, “The right-wing scumbag and blowhard has now lowered himself to publishing the raving, lunatic Republican fantasies of pedophiles!!!”
Firstly, as previously stated, I do not care for the appellation, “right-wing scumbag” or any of the other more profane labels which now dot that website’s comments section. Such juvenile invective is beneath civilized discourse.
In reference to yesterday’s Guest Journal, I believed that the piece had a certain Robert Frost-like pathos, which gave the work a haunting quality. I never vouched for the author’s accuracy in his recollection of the Reagan era. I will candidly admit to you that in the eighties, I was at a place in my life where I was not attuned to the country’s political affairs.
Lastly, I have read and re-read the piece, and note nothing contained therein which could lead to the conclusion that its author is a pedophile. Such a malicious accusation can only be attributed to a deliberate effort to smear me by association.
First IBP Film Project Gets Greenlight
The film division of IBP has greenlighted a film which will have to be produced on an extremely limited budget. The bean counters over at accounting don’t think the project will have any legs, while some on the creative side aren’t confident that it will ever go "wide".
An experienced actor is needed to play the role of Liberace. A time and place for the casting call will be announced shortly.
An experienced actor is needed to play the role of Liberace. A time and place for the casting call will be announced shortly.
"24"
The old sandman just would not pay me a visit last night, so I was up late watching a rerun of "King of the Hill" on the UHF. It was the one where the track coach uses replacement by Bobby as a threat for poor performance or disciplinary violations. (Best line of the show is Hank, asking rhetorically, "Is there any lesson that sports doesn’t teach us?")
Anyway, during the show, a promo was shown for "24". It showed Jack saying, "You’re going to tell me what I need to know," and then it did a quick cut to the Russian ambassador looking very apprehensive . . . Man, I can’t wait until Monday night.
Anyway, during the show, a promo was shown for "24". It showed Jack saying, "You’re going to tell me what I need to know," and then it did a quick cut to the Russian ambassador looking very apprehensive . . . Man, I can’t wait until Monday night.
Thursday, March 1, 2007
Guest Journal
Faithful column readers are familiar with my policy of rarely publishing unsolicited transmissions, said policy having stood me in good stead. However, on rare occasions, I receive a journal of such a poignant nature that I feel it incumbent upon me to share it with my readership at large:
As I was taking my air on a walk through the park today, my ascot and tam protecting me against an unusually brisk New England afternoon, a young man tread across my path, and being of an intellectually curious bent, said to me, "Hey, mister. I’ve been reading about this President Reagan. You must have been alive when he was President. What was he like? He seems like he was a righteous dude."
Ah, the inquisitiveness of the young. I wish I had had an opportunity to answer that young man before he was shooed away by an overprotective guardian.
I shall answer him now. Righteous dude, indeed. President Reagan, or Papa Reagan as he became affectionately known to his countrymen during his term of office, serenely sailed the ship of state for eight years with nary a ripple appearing on the surface. He was beloved by Americans of all ages, races, creeds and social standing. His popularity was such that he never had to veto a bill as no legislation of which he may have disapproved was ever submitted to Congress. His Democratic opponent for reelection went on national television and subjugated himself in abject apology for being placed in the untenable position of challenging Papa.
The only blip in his eight years was when a small, dangerous group of fringe crackpots attempted to make out of whole cloth a scandal in regards to the work of a military hero in fighting for freedom for a tiny, oppressed country. The nation waited expectantly as Papa went on television to explain, as surely no justification was necessary, his role in these events and whether we as a people should be worried. In a master stroke, he said not a word; rather he softly, almost imperceptibly, shook his great leonine head from side to side, and the moistened glint in his eye let us know that we should not concern ourselves, and the scandal quickly faded into the vapors.
I hope, one day, to again see that young man in the park.
As I was taking my air on a walk through the park today, my ascot and tam protecting me against an unusually brisk New England afternoon, a young man tread across my path, and being of an intellectually curious bent, said to me, "Hey, mister. I’ve been reading about this President Reagan. You must have been alive when he was President. What was he like? He seems like he was a righteous dude."
Ah, the inquisitiveness of the young. I wish I had had an opportunity to answer that young man before he was shooed away by an overprotective guardian.
I shall answer him now. Righteous dude, indeed. President Reagan, or Papa Reagan as he became affectionately known to his countrymen during his term of office, serenely sailed the ship of state for eight years with nary a ripple appearing on the surface. He was beloved by Americans of all ages, races, creeds and social standing. His popularity was such that he never had to veto a bill as no legislation of which he may have disapproved was ever submitted to Congress. His Democratic opponent for reelection went on national television and subjugated himself in abject apology for being placed in the untenable position of challenging Papa.
The only blip in his eight years was when a small, dangerous group of fringe crackpots attempted to make out of whole cloth a scandal in regards to the work of a military hero in fighting for freedom for a tiny, oppressed country. The nation waited expectantly as Papa went on television to explain, as surely no justification was necessary, his role in these events and whether we as a people should be worried. In a master stroke, he said not a word; rather he softly, almost imperceptibly, shook his great leonine head from side to side, and the moistened glint in his eye let us know that we should not concern ourselves, and the scandal quickly faded into the vapors.
I hope, one day, to again see that young man in the park.
Legends Field Report: 3/1/2007
Man, is my blood boiling.
I get to Legends Field bright and early this morning, cause I want to see how the Bombers are swingin’ the bats, see if Jeter left his game down in Puerto Rico with Jessica Biehl, and I get a good spot right behind the screen . . .
. . . and I’m watchin’ and A-Rod comes out to take his cuts, and I figure, ya know, it’s a new year, give the guy some encouragement, let him know that everybody in New York don’t hate him, and so I yells to him, I yells, “Hey! Alex! Let’s do it this year, buddy!”
And he turns in my direction . . . and gives me the dead lookaway! He gives me the high hat!
And so I’m thinkin’ to myself, I’m thinkin’, “Who in the hell does this guy think he is, treatin’ me like that?” And so he gets in the cage, and I really start ridin’ him, givin’ him the old what for, and I says to him, I says, “Hey, A-Rod! You suck!”
Well, next thing I know, this security guard’s got his hand on my elbow askin’ if I could tone it down a little bit, and I says to him if he don’t get his hand off my elbow, I’m gonna do him a favor and break his jaw for him, and I guess another one of Steinbrenner’s goons must’ve snuck up around behind me, cause I get rabbit punched, and when I come to, I’m on the ground and four or five of um are stompin’ away, really puttin’ the boots to me . . .
Long story short, they must’ve finally gotten tired and they pick me up by the shorthairs and gives me the bum’s rush right out of the place . . . and when I finally got outside, I let um know about it . . . treatin’ me like that . . . I was going up to the Bronx, supportin’ um, before Giuliani started bustin’ heads and it was worth your life to go up there and see Don Slaught and Raffy Santana and the rest of um . . . no more . . . I got my pride . . . I’m headin’ up to Port St. Lucie . . . my next report will be from Mets’ camp . . .
I get to Legends Field bright and early this morning, cause I want to see how the Bombers are swingin’ the bats, see if Jeter left his game down in Puerto Rico with Jessica Biehl, and I get a good spot right behind the screen . . .
. . . and I’m watchin’ and A-Rod comes out to take his cuts, and I figure, ya know, it’s a new year, give the guy some encouragement, let him know that everybody in New York don’t hate him, and so I yells to him, I yells, “Hey! Alex! Let’s do it this year, buddy!”
And he turns in my direction . . . and gives me the dead lookaway! He gives me the high hat!
And so I’m thinkin’ to myself, I’m thinkin’, “Who in the hell does this guy think he is, treatin’ me like that?” And so he gets in the cage, and I really start ridin’ him, givin’ him the old what for, and I says to him, I says, “Hey, A-Rod! You suck!”
Well, next thing I know, this security guard’s got his hand on my elbow askin’ if I could tone it down a little bit, and I says to him if he don’t get his hand off my elbow, I’m gonna do him a favor and break his jaw for him, and I guess another one of Steinbrenner’s goons must’ve snuck up around behind me, cause I get rabbit punched, and when I come to, I’m on the ground and four or five of um are stompin’ away, really puttin’ the boots to me . . .
Long story short, they must’ve finally gotten tired and they pick me up by the shorthairs and gives me the bum’s rush right out of the place . . . and when I finally got outside, I let um know about it . . . treatin’ me like that . . . I was going up to the Bronx, supportin’ um, before Giuliani started bustin’ heads and it was worth your life to go up there and see Don Slaught and Raffy Santana and the rest of um . . . no more . . . I got my pride . . . I’m headin’ up to Port St. Lucie . . . my next report will be from Mets’ camp . . .
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
An Announcement For Our Readers
Long time readers of this column know that I have refused to commercialize the IBP brand despite numerous lucrative offers . . . even three years ago, when the protracted litigation with the vultures at Disney forced this space to go "dark" for six months, I refused to violate the Kantian imperative by using people as a means rather than an ends . . .
However, times have changed and we must change with them. I am sure that many of you have taken note of the upgrades and increased bandwidth over the past year. Such improvements have outstripped my ability to continue to maintain this column and remain economically solvent.
Let me assure you, gentle readers, that this action should not be construed as a sell-out. I have insisted that the products bearing the IBP logo be of the highest quality. Additionally, I will be extremely selective in the type of product which will be licensed to carry the logo. I pledge to you that you will not see garish displays of the IBP scattershotted hither and yon, which I believe would have a tendency to impugn the integrity of the column and its author.
Having made my peace, let me proudly announce to you that in a month’s time, we will be "rolling out" the IBP beer cozy, which will list for $12.95.
The IBP is not a recognized 501(C)(3) organization
However, times have changed and we must change with them. I am sure that many of you have taken note of the upgrades and increased bandwidth over the past year. Such improvements have outstripped my ability to continue to maintain this column and remain economically solvent.
Let me assure you, gentle readers, that this action should not be construed as a sell-out. I have insisted that the products bearing the IBP logo be of the highest quality. Additionally, I will be extremely selective in the type of product which will be licensed to carry the logo. I pledge to you that you will not see garish displays of the IBP scattershotted hither and yon, which I believe would have a tendency to impugn the integrity of the column and its author.
Having made my peace, let me proudly announce to you that in a month’s time, we will be "rolling out" the IBP beer cozy, which will list for $12.95.
The IBP is not a recognized 501(C)(3) organization
Memories
Does anybody out there remember when Republican operatives really slipped it to that high-falutin' John Kerry, by spreading it around that he "looks French"?
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Red Meat Political Commentary
The Drudge Report has been making hay with a report that purported environmentalist and former Vice President, Al Gore, has been wastefully using energy on a grand scale at his new home in Belle Meade, Tennessee.
I, for one, have grown weary of the politics of personal destruction. May I be permitted to stand on my hind legs and ask a pertinent question; how can we expect to attract good people to run for public office if we are going to set an artificially high standard whereby politicians must believe in the principles they espouse?
I, for one, have grown weary of the politics of personal destruction. May I be permitted to stand on my hind legs and ask a pertinent question; how can we expect to attract good people to run for public office if we are going to set an artificially high standard whereby politicians must believe in the principles they espouse?
Your Chance To Vote
Many of you are aware of the fact that I headlined the Red Room at the Fabulous Atlantic City Caberet Lounge every Tuesday night for over six years- those were golden days, before the arrival of the casinoes and the so-called "high caliber" entertainers.
Although rarely asked to perform in public anymore, I have had a very special request to sing at a wedding reception and am going to put it to IBP readers as to what song I should sing. I ask you to confine your votes to my selected nominees:
1) "Feelings" - Mr. Morris Albert
2) "You're Just Too Good To Be True" - Mr. Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons
3) "You Light Up My Life" - Ms. Debby Boone
4) "Walk The Line" - Mr. John "Johnny" Cash
5) "The Turkish Song of the Damned" - The Pogues
Please, please, please get those votes in by April 1.
Although rarely asked to perform in public anymore, I have had a very special request to sing at a wedding reception and am going to put it to IBP readers as to what song I should sing. I ask you to confine your votes to my selected nominees:
1) "Feelings" - Mr. Morris Albert
2) "You're Just Too Good To Be True" - Mr. Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons
3) "You Light Up My Life" - Ms. Debby Boone
4) "Walk The Line" - Mr. John "Johnny" Cash
5) "The Turkish Song of the Damned" - The Pogues
Please, please, please get those votes in by April 1.
"24"
Man, oh man, is "24" really starting to heat up. That Englishman, Morris, is going to get us all blown to smithereens with his crazy drinking and shoddy tech work!!! I'm pretty sure that the President and Assad aren't dead; there's no way someone like Rob Lowe's brother could have pulled that off. The coming attractions for next week showed that Jack has to get some information from a Russian ambassador and advises this Russian in a way that does not invite debate that he's going to get that info or that punk Russian is going to get his fingers cut off!!!
Legends Field: Live Report, 2/27/07
What with the traffic in South Florida, the Yanks' workout was over by the time I got here. Manager Torre, was already sitting at his table in the bullpen, getting his sun and snacking on what appeared to be chunks of fresh mozzarella cheese and good, ripe olives.
One interesting development. The Yanks are constructing a protective sphere, similar to the one used by John Travolta's character in the 1976 classic, "Boy In The Plastic Bubble", for Carl Pavano to work out in for the remainder of spring training.
One interesting development. The Yanks are constructing a protective sphere, similar to the one used by John Travolta's character in the 1976 classic, "Boy In The Plastic Bubble", for Carl Pavano to work out in for the remainder of spring training.
Monday, February 26, 2007
Oscar Night: A Review
Through a fortuitous series of events which don't merit comment here, I was able to view a "tape" of last night's Oscar Awards.
Highly disappointing, to say the least. The Academy elected to go in another direction this year, apparently deciding that wit was no longer a needed attribute in the host. Give me the days of "Ol' Ski Nose" Bob Hope, reeling off one side-splitting quip after the other. Or "The King of Late Night", Johnny Carson. Johnny would have come up with some real rib-ticklers.
Johnny: "It was so hot in Burbank, today . . ."
Star-Studded Audience: "How hot was it?!?!?!"
Johnny: "It was so hot . . . that chemically unbalanced, over the hill, female pop singers were shaving their heads to try to stay cool!!!"
And the audience would have roared and appreciated Johnny's topicality, having a bit of a good-natured humorous go at Britney Spears and her descent into madness.
Highly disappointing, to say the least. The Academy elected to go in another direction this year, apparently deciding that wit was no longer a needed attribute in the host. Give me the days of "Ol' Ski Nose" Bob Hope, reeling off one side-splitting quip after the other. Or "The King of Late Night", Johnny Carson. Johnny would have come up with some real rib-ticklers.
Johnny: "It was so hot in Burbank, today . . ."
Star-Studded Audience: "How hot was it?!?!?!"
Johnny: "It was so hot . . . that chemically unbalanced, over the hill, female pop singers were shaving their heads to try to stay cool!!!"
And the audience would have roared and appreciated Johnny's topicality, having a bit of a good-natured humorous go at Britney Spears and her descent into madness.
Memories
Does anybody out there remember when Vice President Cheney shot that old-timer right square in the face?
Kudos to C-Webb
Tip of the cap to Chris Webber, who after getting a 38 million dollar buyout from the 76ers and signing with the Pistons, has shaken off the lethargy that marked his last days with the Sixers and is playing like a spry twenty year old.
Legends Field: Live Report, 2/26/07
As if the plate of lame duck manager, Joe Torre, wasn't full enough, now comes word that Bobby Abreu is injured. Having watched Abreu in Philadelphia for a number of years, I can guarantee you that the injury was not incurred running into a wall.
Over the weekend, centerfielder, Johnny Damon, headed for the high grass, dropping out of camp for undisclosed personal reasons.
Cash won't be steamrolled into offering a pricey major league contract to Bernie Williams, rightly believing that his skills, pedestrian and over-hyped even in his salad days, have greatly diminished with age.
After practice today, Manager Torre set up a table in the bullpen and enjoyed a lunch of shrimp primevera, a loaf of bread from the Tuscany region, with some wine and pears for dessert.
Over the weekend, centerfielder, Johnny Damon, headed for the high grass, dropping out of camp for undisclosed personal reasons.
Cash won't be steamrolled into offering a pricey major league contract to Bernie Williams, rightly believing that his skills, pedestrian and over-hyped even in his salad days, have greatly diminished with age.
After practice today, Manager Torre set up a table in the bullpen and enjoyed a lunch of shrimp primevera, a loaf of bread from the Tuscany region, with some wine and pears for dessert.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
SITUATION CONTINUING TO DETERIORATE ON OSCAR NIGHT
I have thus far received no response to my inquiry regarding whether the Oscars would be on the radio. Therefore, it is my sad duty to report, that the live blogging on tonight's ceremonies has been cancelled.
Additionally, I had hoped to provide a transcript of a post-Oscar telephone interview with my dear personal friend, Mr. Marty Scorcesese, who I have predicted will be going home with Oscar. Unfortunetly, the East Coast is getting hit with a spate of inclement weather. I am afraid I will be unable to negotiate the two block walk to the payphone in order to conduct the interview due to icy conditions.
Additionally, I had hoped to provide a transcript of a post-Oscar telephone interview with my dear personal friend, Mr. Marty Scorcesese, who I have predicted will be going home with Oscar. Unfortunetly, the East Coast is getting hit with a spate of inclement weather. I am afraid I will be unable to negotiate the two block walk to the payphone in order to conduct the interview due to icy conditions.
Lookalikes
I had been vexed to the point of insomnia this fall, attempting to recall who perpetually exasperated New York Giants' coach, Tom Coughlin, facially resembled.
Like a bolt of lightning, while tossing and turning one night, the answer came to me; none other than Alvy Moore, the beloved Mr. Kimball, on the show, "Green Acres".
http://www.maggiore.net/greenacres/gacast.asp
http://www.imgspeakers.com/speakers/tom_coughlin.aspx
Like a bolt of lightning, while tossing and turning one night, the answer came to me; none other than Alvy Moore, the beloved Mr. Kimball, on the show, "Green Acres".
http://www.maggiore.net/greenacres/gacast.asp
http://www.imgspeakers.com/speakers/tom_coughlin.aspx
Oscar Night Live Blogging: Cancelled
As you are all well aware, I have been trumpeting the fact that I would be live blogging this year's Oscar Award ceremony. Having been in attendance at the ceremony for twenty-two consecutive years, and in many of those years having been feted at "Swifty" Lazar's legendary post-Oscar bashes at Spago's, I thought I could convey a bit of the "flavor" of the spectacle.
It appears, however, that a technical glitch will now prevent me from doing so. I was watching a rerun of "The Shield" on Channel 17 last night, (BTW, when is the Academy going to recognize Mr. Michael Chicilets and his fine work?), and the wind must have been blowing just right, because the reception on the old black and white was coming in great for a UHF channel. Suddenly, without warning, just as Chicilets was about to put another miscreant out of his misery without regard to his so-called "Consitutional" rights, the entire picture reduced to one dimming point of light in the middle of the screen.
I tried to remedy the situtation by whacking the side of the television with the palm of my hand. Then I tried turning the television on and off several times. None of these remedies was to any avail.
Would anybody know if the Academy Awards are going to be on the radio? I have been loathe to shell out the money for new batteries for my transistor, but this situation defines an emergency.
It appears, however, that a technical glitch will now prevent me from doing so. I was watching a rerun of "The Shield" on Channel 17 last night, (BTW, when is the Academy going to recognize Mr. Michael Chicilets and his fine work?), and the wind must have been blowing just right, because the reception on the old black and white was coming in great for a UHF channel. Suddenly, without warning, just as Chicilets was about to put another miscreant out of his misery without regard to his so-called "Consitutional" rights, the entire picture reduced to one dimming point of light in the middle of the screen.
I tried to remedy the situtation by whacking the side of the television with the palm of my hand. Then I tried turning the television on and off several times. None of these remedies was to any avail.
Would anybody know if the Academy Awards are going to be on the radio? I have been loathe to shell out the money for new batteries for my transistor, but this situation defines an emergency.
Saturday, February 24, 2007
OSCAR PREDICTION 2007; Best Film
Less than 24 hours away and I'm sure that everyone's arms are tingley with gooseflesh.
Nikki Finke's column has been linked by Drudge all day, so the secret is out; Steven, Francis and the guy who made all that money off them Star Wars movies will be presenting the Best Director Oscar.
And fittingly, standing with those two cinematic titans and the guy who made all that money off them Star Wars movie, will be none other than Mr. Martin Scorcesese.
This will be the year of "The Departed". The Academy can reward Marty's picture with a slew of Oscars as there is no real competition out there.
Nikki Finke's column has been linked by Drudge all day, so the secret is out; Steven, Francis and the guy who made all that money off them Star Wars movies will be presenting the Best Director Oscar.
And fittingly, standing with those two cinematic titans and the guy who made all that money off them Star Wars movie, will be none other than Mr. Martin Scorcesese.
This will be the year of "The Departed". The Academy can reward Marty's picture with a slew of Oscars as there is no real competition out there.
Poll Results
The voting for the top two names for 2007 Fantasy Baseball Teams is over. The two top vote getters were as follows:
1. The Congressional Pages (38,495 votes)
2. The Montreal Expos (1,212 votes)
1. The Congressional Pages (38,495 votes)
2. The Montreal Expos (1,212 votes)
A Full Day's Work For A Full Day's Pay
Vince McMahon has had to endure criticism on a wide variety of topics during his tenure at the helm of the WWE. To the man's credit, he does embody some old school values, such as expecting an employee to earn his keep. As the pictures linked here amply demonstrate, before getting a train ticket back to their homes and some free grub, the aged Dusty Rhodes and "Rowdy" Roddy Piper, had to endure a savaging by a ruffian named Umaga.
http://www.wwe.com/shows/raw/archive/02152007/photos/
http://www.wwe.com/shows/raw/archive/02152007/photos/
Red Meat Political Commentary
Well, this one is really going to set the fur to flying, but here goes nothing.
The AP has been hammered throughout the right wing blogosphere for its left leaning tendencies. And there was a certain sameness to their headlines regarding civil strife in Iraq which did not become crystalized in my mine until this very day.
On the Yahoo homepage, the AP headlines always use "at least" when ambiguiosly referring to casualties. Today for example;
As of 6:07 p.m. EST • Iraq suicide blast kills at least 39 at Sunni mosque
May I suggest in the name of objectivity, that the AP start observing some journalistic standards and use "no more than" rather than "at least". I mean, if they have arrived at some rough estimate, see how much better this sounds;
Iraq suicide blast kills no more than 39 at Sunni mosque
The whole episode becomes more palatable with the hard cap of "no more than" rather than the heightened expectations of "at least".
The AP has been hammered throughout the right wing blogosphere for its left leaning tendencies. And there was a certain sameness to their headlines regarding civil strife in Iraq which did not become crystalized in my mine until this very day.
On the Yahoo homepage, the AP headlines always use "at least" when ambiguiosly referring to casualties. Today for example;
As of 6:07 p.m. EST • Iraq suicide blast kills at least 39 at Sunni mosque
May I suggest in the name of objectivity, that the AP start observing some journalistic standards and use "no more than" rather than "at least". I mean, if they have arrived at some rough estimate, see how much better this sounds;
Iraq suicide blast kills no more than 39 at Sunni mosque
The whole episode becomes more palatable with the hard cap of "no more than" rather than the heightened expectations of "at least".
Red Meat Political Commentary
President Bush has had a tempetuous term of office, weathering storms on both the foreign and domestic fronts, oft criticized and shortly facing the judgement of the ages. It is the work of intellects far greater than mind to determine his place in history.
However, one minor quibble; what is up with this business of extending daylight savings time? For we quiet few who suffer from Reverse Seasonal Adjustment Disorder, additional daylight starting earlier in the year is not welcome news. Suffice it to say that two or three more months of laying on the floor curled in the fetal positon with blankets drawn tightly over the head, and having to duct tape the shades to the wall, is no walk in the park.
Let me take the courageous step of being the first blogger to urge the President to use his power under the law as passed to defer extending the daylight savings time hours.
As a brief aside, Reverse Seasonal Adjustment Disorder is a much misunderstood ailment. Let me explain it by way of allegory. Back in the '70's, an actor named Alan Alda shot to stardom on the strength of his performance as the wisecracking surgeon, "Hawkeye" Pierce, in the television series, "M*A*S*H". (Parenthetically, Alda gave a groundbreaking performance in the movie version of the play, "Same Time, Next Year", in which he was also the last known American actor who wore jeans with a butterfly stiched smack dab on the ass.) Anyway, the character of "Hawkeye" always had a two day growth of stubble on his face. In an interview with the then nasceant "People" magazine, Alda revealed, "The funny thing is that I'm an odd duck. I like to shave."
However, one minor quibble; what is up with this business of extending daylight savings time? For we quiet few who suffer from Reverse Seasonal Adjustment Disorder, additional daylight starting earlier in the year is not welcome news. Suffice it to say that two or three more months of laying on the floor curled in the fetal positon with blankets drawn tightly over the head, and having to duct tape the shades to the wall, is no walk in the park.
Let me take the courageous step of being the first blogger to urge the President to use his power under the law as passed to defer extending the daylight savings time hours.
As a brief aside, Reverse Seasonal Adjustment Disorder is a much misunderstood ailment. Let me explain it by way of allegory. Back in the '70's, an actor named Alan Alda shot to stardom on the strength of his performance as the wisecracking surgeon, "Hawkeye" Pierce, in the television series, "M*A*S*H". (Parenthetically, Alda gave a groundbreaking performance in the movie version of the play, "Same Time, Next Year", in which he was also the last known American actor who wore jeans with a butterfly stiched smack dab on the ass.) Anyway, the character of "Hawkeye" always had a two day growth of stubble on his face. In an interview with the then nasceant "People" magazine, Alda revealed, "The funny thing is that I'm an odd duck. I like to shave."
OSCAR PREDICTION, 2007; Best Actress
Let me disclose something from the outset, so that I am not later accused of a conflict. I have known the wonderful Ms. Penolope Cruz since she arrived in Los Angeles some twelve years ago. Given that, I am picking her to win for her role in "Revolver". In this reporter's opinion, Ms. Cruz' victory will begin the process of overcoming the Academy's shameful history of not recognizing the work of red-hot Latinas. Look for this healing process to continue next year when Ms. Eva Mendes cops the Best Actress statue for her fine work in "Ghost Rider".
A note on Dame Helen Mirren and the media's rush to award her the Oscar by acclamation. I must say that I dissent in the universal praise being heaped upon Dame Mirren for her decision to use a lower-class Cockney accent while assaying the role of Queen Elizabeth. Candidly, I could barely make out a word she was saying.
A note on Dame Helen Mirren and the media's rush to award her the Oscar by acclamation. I must say that I dissent in the universal praise being heaped upon Dame Mirren for her decision to use a lower-class Cockney accent while assaying the role of Queen Elizabeth. Candidly, I could barely make out a word she was saying.
Friday, February 23, 2007
It grieves me, gentle readers, to relay to you that this column was "on-air" less than three hours, when the ugly charge of plaugerism was haphazardly lobbed at your humble correspondent by a West Coast critic. In the particular, I was accused of attempting to mimic the stylings of one Steve Harvey, late of the now defunct UPN's "The Steve Harvey Show" and currently, I believe, doing an early morning radio show out of Chicago. After some reflection, I will be responding to these baseless charges in more detail.
Ted Koppel: A Retrospective, An Appreciation
Years ago, I think in the late '80's, on "Nightline", Ted Koppell was trying to get to the bottom of something and was interviewing a gentleman from India regarding certain accusations against him. The interviewee was apparently not aware of what passed for network standards at the time, and in response to one of Ted's questions said, "I feel like someone is pouring (feces) on me and I don't know where its coming from."
Ted advised him in no uncertain terms that he would have an opportunity to respond, but if he continued using that type of language, he would not be on the air very long.
Ted advised him in no uncertain terms that he would have an opportunity to respond, but if he continued using that type of language, he would not be on the air very long.
OSCAR PREDICTION 2007; Best Actor
Someone named Ryan Goslin in something called "Half Nelson" can be ruled out. Oscar has never rewarded a performance in a straight to video film and never will.
Will Smith in "The Pursuit of Happyness (sic)" and Leonardo DiCaprio in "Blood Diamonds" are simply mudders filling out a weak field.
Those who know Oscar, know that Oscar loves sentiment. I'm going to buck the trend of so-called experts, who are thumping the tub for Forest Whitaker in "The Last King of Scotland". Whitaker should have won last year for his work in "The Shield", but Oscar has no sympathy.
This year, Oscar will go to the marvelous Sir Peter Toole in "Venus". I was fortunate enough to meet Sir Toole when I was working as a gaffer on the classic 1980 film, "The Island". Sir Toole stopped by the set to visit Sir Michael Caine. But Sir Toole will not be awarded the Oscar on sentiment alone; the reviews I've read seem to indicate that he did a pretty fair job in "Venus".
COMING ATTRACTIONS: Best Picture, 2007
Will Smith in "The Pursuit of Happyness (sic)" and Leonardo DiCaprio in "Blood Diamonds" are simply mudders filling out a weak field.
Those who know Oscar, know that Oscar loves sentiment. I'm going to buck the trend of so-called experts, who are thumping the tub for Forest Whitaker in "The Last King of Scotland". Whitaker should have won last year for his work in "The Shield", but Oscar has no sympathy.
This year, Oscar will go to the marvelous Sir Peter Toole in "Venus". I was fortunate enough to meet Sir Toole when I was working as a gaffer on the classic 1980 film, "The Island". Sir Toole stopped by the set to visit Sir Michael Caine. But Sir Toole will not be awarded the Oscar on sentiment alone; the reviews I've read seem to indicate that he did a pretty fair job in "Venus".
COMING ATTRACTIONS: Best Picture, 2007
Red Meat Political Commentary
I've been chomping at the bit to roll up my sleeves and get into the frothing pell-mell, the hurley-burley, the give and take, the steaming cauldron of this whole internet political blogging thing, so let me swing from the heels at the git-go and state unequivocally that government works best when everybody works together toward equitable compromises between legitimate competing postitions.
STATEMENT OF PURPOSE
In a classic "Peanuts" cartoon, Charlie Brown emerges from his house when the sun is rising and queries, "Why do I always have to go looking for people? Today, I'm going to sit here and wait for somebody to come see me." The cartoon continues through the remaining panels with Charlie Brown sitting patiently on the front step of his house, while the sun gradually sinks throughout the course of the day. In the final panel, Charlie Brown is sitting there alone at night, and he is emitting the familiar, "Sigh".
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