Decision, 2008: Update

IBP will be presenting various viewpoints from guest bloggers in the coming weeks as the election progresses. Blogger, Ron Rex, has blogged at his own site, "Conservative Real American" for over seven years and has been a panel member on several locally produced political talkshows. His posts here are cross-posted to "Conservative Real American".

You know what my favorite part of the primaries has been so far? When a commentator or reporter refers to Hillary's laugh as a "cackle".


As part of our continuing series to provide different viewpoints surrounding the events leading up to the Presidential Election, we today welcome guest blogger, Jerry Weltz. Mr. Weltz has had his comments published over 43,000 times on The Daily Kos website, always accompanied by his familiar tagline, "Zero tolerance for Republican bullshit".

"Uh, Rex . . . how 'bout cackling this?"

"24"

Hard to believe, but it was made official this week. No "24" this year. That news just knocked the pins right out from under me. Since my job on this blog has been to keep everybody up to date on the happenings on "24", there's really not a whole hell of a lot for me to do.

But since this blog is mostly politics now, I'm going to go ahead and put in my two cents, for what its worth. If you ask me who I'm voting for, I'll tell ya. I'm voting for Obama. Why? Because President David Palmer was a black guy. He was probably Jack Bauer's best President. So, I'm voting for Obama.

The only thing I'm worried about is that all the remaining candidates are against waterboarding. As we all know, Jack Bauer has had to shoot people in the knee and break fingers in order to get needed information. I haven't heard any of the remaining candidates speak to it, but if they are against waterboarding, I'm guessing they are against shooting suspects in the knee or breaking their fingers. I can only hope that whoever gets elected will grow in the office and realize that Jack Bauer gets results.

As part of our continuing series to provide different viewpoints surrounding the events leading up to the Presidential Election, we today welcome guest blogger, Jerry Weltz. Mr. Weltz has had his comments published over 43,000 times on The Daily Kos website, always accompanied by his familiar tagline, "Zero tolerance for Republican bullshit".

"Facist much?"

Decision, 2008: A Correction

On February 14, 2008, this site published Grant "Gopher" Jones' column, which stated that Senator John McCain, if elected to the presidency, would issue an executive order allowing the military to confiscate all porcelain used in residential indoor plumbing in order to build a two mile high porcelain statue of himself.

We have received the following letter from the McCain, 2008 campaign:

"Although it boggles the imagination that any thinking American could possibly believe the ludicrous allegation regarding the construction of a porcelain statue, which was carried by your site on February 14, 2008, please be advised that the story is false. Only in the fetid sewer of internet political rumor-mongering could such an absurdity take root."

When contacted, Grant "Gopher" Jones stated that he is standing by his sources.

Decision, 2008: Update

IBP will be presenting various viewpoints from guest bloggers in the coming weeks as the election progresses. We were pleasantly surprised to be contacted by Shep Martin, famed political satirist of the '60's and '70's. Shep's jokes and satirical songs were famed for taking the pulse of the American body politic, until the tide of public opinion turned against his "type" of humor. Shep performed at the piano every Thursday night for eighteen years in the lobby of the old Adams-Monroe Hotel in Washington, D.C., until it was condemned upon the discovery of rats in the Hotel's kitchen. When notified of the condition, Shep memorably quipped, "Rats? What happened, is the Capital Building sinking?"

Today, he gifts this site with the lyrics of his latest satirical song, which is sung to the tune of Kool and the Gang's "Celebration". Please click the link below for audio:


Superdelegates, c'mon!
Superdelegates, c'mon!

Primaries are going on right here,
Barack's been winning,
Hillary's in fear.
She'll grease insiders,
Its the only thing to do,
Circumvent the voters,
Who don't like you.

Superdelegates, c'mon!
Superdelegates, c'mon!

Repeat refrain

Decision, 2008: Update

Grant "Gopher" Jones is a syndicated writer whose column "My Unconfirmed Sources Tell Me . . . " appears in over fifty-two newspapers. As one libel attorney aptly summarized, "Gopher is the kind of reporter who keeps his ear to the ground . . . and sometimes under it." IBP is pleased to have him guest blogging for us during this political season.


My unconfirmed sources tell me:

. . . despite unfavorable reviews in South Carolina, the Clinton campaign is convinced that it must throw a "Hail Mary" pass, and will return to race baiting in Texas and Ohio. The campaign is expected to hire as spokesman, Michael Richards, who played the character of "Kramer" on the old "Seinfeld" show, and is in negotiations with the Don Imus radio show to have former President Clinton race bait twice a week on a segment entitled, "Just Five Cotton Pickin' Minutes With Bill".

. . . that despite his denials, presumptive Republican presidential nominee, John McCain, if elected, will issue an executive order allowing the military to confiscate all porcelain used for residential indoor plumbing in the United States to build a two mile high porcelain statue of himself. As for how Americans will get by without use of indoor plumbing, McCain has reportedly said that they will "just have to do the best they can".

THE EMMITT SMITH DEBACLED

During the Depression, the ol' St. Louis lefthander, Dizzy Dean, was the target of criticism from school teachers, for his use of the word "ain't" during Cardinals' radio broadcasts. Summing up the situation perfectly, the ol' lefthander, said, with what one must assume was a wry smile, "A lot of people who ain't sayin' ain't, ain't eatin'."