Grant "Gopher" Jones is a syndicated writer whose column "My Unconfirmed Sources Tell Me . . . " appears in over fifty-two newspapers. As one libel attorney aptly summarized, "Gopher is the kind of reporter who keeps his ear to the ground . . . and sometimes under it." IBP is pleased to have him guest blogging for us during this political season.
My unconfirmed sources tell me:
. . . despite unfavorable reviews in South Carolina, the Clinton campaign is convinced that it must throw a "Hail Mary" pass, and will return to race baiting in Texas and Ohio. The campaign is expected to hire as spokesman, Michael Richards, who played the character of "Kramer" on the old "Seinfeld" show, and is in negotiations with the Don Imus radio show to have former President Clinton race bait twice a week on a segment entitled, "Just Five Cotton Pickin' Minutes With Bill".
. . . that despite his denials, presumptive Republican presidential nominee, John McCain, if elected, will issue an executive order allowing the military to confiscate all porcelain used for residential indoor plumbing in the United States to build a two mile high porcelain statue of himself. As for how Americans will get by without use of indoor plumbing, McCain has reportedly said that they will "just have to do the best they can".
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