Decision, 2008: Update

Plagued by stagnant fund-raising, staff firings, defections and resignations, and repeated dunning calls from a tenacious, abrasive collection agent for American Express, who identifies himself as "Sam White", my sources advise that Senator John McCain (R-AZ) has been observed biting his lower lip, muttering to himself and breaking out in seemingly unprovoked laughter at inappropriate times. My sources further indicate that the remaining campaign staff is thus far resistant to the Senator's proposed strategy to "throw a 'Hail Mary' pass and then 'circle the wagons' for 2012."