Man, is my blood boiling.
I get to Legends Field bright and early this morning, cause I want to see how the Bombers are swingin’ the bats, see if Jeter left his game down in Puerto Rico with Jessica Biehl, and I get a good spot right behind the screen . . .
. . . and I’m watchin’ and A-Rod comes out to take his cuts, and I figure, ya know, it’s a new year, give the guy some encouragement, let him know that everybody in New York don’t hate him, and so I yells to him, I yells, “Hey! Alex! Let’s do it this year, buddy!”
And he turns in my direction . . . and gives me the dead lookaway! He gives me the high hat!
And so I’m thinkin’ to myself, I’m thinkin’, “Who in the hell does this guy think he is, treatin’ me like that?” And so he gets in the cage, and I really start ridin’ him, givin’ him the old what for, and I says to him, I says, “Hey, A-Rod! You suck!”
Well, next thing I know, this security guard’s got his hand on my elbow askin’ if I could tone it down a little bit, and I says to him if he don’t get his hand off my elbow, I’m gonna do him a favor and break his jaw for him, and I guess another one of Steinbrenner’s goons must’ve snuck up around behind me, cause I get rabbit punched, and when I come to, I’m on the ground and four or five of um are stompin’ away, really puttin’ the boots to me . . .
Long story short, they must’ve finally gotten tired and they pick me up by the shorthairs and gives me the bum’s rush right out of the place . . . and when I finally got outside, I let um know about it . . . treatin’ me like that . . . I was going up to the Bronx, supportin’ um, before Giuliani started bustin’ heads and it was worth your life to go up there and see Don Slaught and Raffy Santana and the rest of um . . . no more . . . I got my pride . . . I’m headin’ up to Port St. Lucie . . . my next report will be from Mets’ camp . . .
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